From the Green Room: Bacon!!
Friday, June 4, 2010 Ever since Samuel Jackson and John Travolta had their philosophical debate about pork in the final reel of Tarantino’s “Pulp Fiction,” bacon has received some really bad press. Jackson, as hit man Jules, maintained, “Pigs are filthy animals.” Over the years, bacon has gotten a bum rap.
Until now.
According to a piece on Tina Brown’s very fine website The Daily Beast, the caloric count of a cup of whole grain granola is equal to that of TEN slices of that salty, smoky, porcine goodness. In fact, if you take into account that two slices is considered a normal serving, bacon is actually BETTER FOR YOU than the cereal. Just when you thought the release of the Double Down sandwich was as good as it gets comes the incredible news that the cured swine belly is damn near health food.
There are quite a few culinary myths shattered in the aforementioned photographic essay. For instance, a half cup of shelled sunflower seeds is equal in calories to that of two 
bags of M&Ms, a fact that creates the following moral and philosophical dilemma: What should I snack on? A half-a-handful of dry, tasteless tidbits that will get stuck in my teeth? Or a buttload of chocolately goodness that won’t melt in my hand? Did you know that a plain, dry bagel is the same as two glazed Dunkin Donuts? Not that you would ever eat a plain, dry bagel unless you were serving hard time in solitary at a state penitentiary, but it’s good to know that you could do worse than stuff two fried, doughy sugar rings into your cakehole. Calorically speaking, that is.
The revelations are stunning. Three quarters of a cup of walnuts is tantamount to a King Size order of Onion Rings at Burger King. With information like that, you’d assume it would be nuts to opt for the nuts. Unless you consider that, with the King Rings, you’re taking one step closer to that inevitable open heart surgery.
Which brings us back to the Holy Hog, the strips of whose flesh we celebrate here today. Sure, there are differences between good calories and bad calories, no matter how equal they may be, but here’s how loyal and dedicated this noble 
beast is: You eat enough of him, you’ll need a valve job. And where do you think they’re going to get that valve? That’s right, your little pal, Porky.
Now, that’s what I call a giver.
