From the Green Room: Discrediting Osama

The Washington Post reported that in 2003, the CIA considered attempting to discredit Saddam Hussein with the Iraqi people by doctoring a video that would have allegedly shown him having sex with a 15-year-old boy. As if being a bloodless terrorist and the single most evil person on the planet, responsible for countless of thousands of deaths wasn’t enough, they’re trying to make him look bad by portraying him as a kid-toucher. 

For whatever reason, the video never happened. However, they produced some footage that made it look like Osama and a few other al-Qaeda members were sitting around the campfire getting drunk and talking about sex with boys. Not exactly the kind of stuff that would go viral on YouTube. If they wanted a lot of people to see it, they should have had one of the drunk terrorists drop his marshmallow into the fire, try to fish it out, knock over the booze bottle into the flames, and then show Osama desperately trying to keep it from torching his dialysis machine by peeing on it. Or have one of his al-Qaeda buddies accidentally hit him in the crotch with a baseball bat. 

Surely, there were other ways they could’ve harmed Osama’s reputation.  If they wanted to go the pedophile route, they should’ve lured him to some remote cave in the mountains of Pakistan where a camera crew had been set up, and Chris Hansen would walk out:  “Osama…have a seat.  I want to show you something.” They could’ve completely blown his street cred with his peeps by photo-shopping a snapshot of him with Jackie Mason and Woody Allen. Or making it appear that he had done a guest spot on Glee singing something from the Lady GaGa catalogue. 

But the best way they could’ve destroyed Osama Bin Laden’s credibility would have been an interview on Nightline by Vicki Mabrey.  Make it look like he broke down on camera, crying about how the scars from his abusive childhood made him do all those bad things. 

Hey, it worked for Jesse James.