Jerkin' for Jesus: Bishop Eddie Long
Friday, September 24, 2010 
Bishop Eddie“Jesus wasn’t broke, and leaders of churches shouldn’t be either.” So declares the Bentley-driving founder and pastor of Atlanta, Georgia mega church, New Birth Missionary Baptist: “Bishop,” as he has titled himself, Eddie Long.
Okay, maybe. But when Jesus said, “suffer the children to come unto me” he wasn’t suggesting they “come unto his motel room” and submit to a lesson in the spirituality of a “holy massage with joyful ending.” But, if present allegations prove to be true, it appears that traditional interpretation of Luke 18:16 may have been lost on Bishop Eddie.
Back to the cash angle for just a moment…amen? According to tax records, Bishop Eddie’s charity – Bishop Eddie Long Ministries, Inc. – provided him with a not so Jesus-like $3-million in salary and benefits, a 20-acre estate and a $350,000 Bentley. Jesus could have driven anything; Bentley, Rolls, Bugatti, simply by folding His arms and doing one of those “I Dream of Jeannie” eye blinks. But He went with the donkey idea. He didn’t own a house, much less an estate; he crashed at whatever disciple’s place was handy. And He didn’t get a paycheck. So where Bishop Eddie backs up his “Jesus wasn’t broke and I shouldn’t be” in some scripture reference is a mystery.
Larry Summers, fellow Harvard gradThis seems like pretty much another case of what I’ve talked about on the radio recently, about how we always seem to get “had” by somebody we thought we knew. And it’s usually a person of influence. Like Barack Obama turning out to be dumber than a drawer pull; nice enough guy, lovely family, but in so far over his head Thad Allen couldn’t save him. Harvard alumnus. So what? Harvard produced that genius Larry Summers. And about fifty percent of the rest of the inept “sophisticates of governance,” democrat and republican alike, who are killin’ us. Thanks, Ivy League.
But I digress. Bishop Eddie. If it all turns out to be true, the Rev’ is disappointing 25,000 swooning faithful in his immediate church right there in Atlanta, and who knows how many in the audience reached by his TV ministry all over the place. Is nothing sacred? Let’s hope the answer is, “yes,” and that he wasn’t, in fact, worshipping the “Rod of Aaron” at a Day’s Inn on some sick Jesus junket with juveniles, as alleged.
I’ve got to confess, the “rug” he wears makes me suspicious: If he’d try to cover up a little “alopecia” with something that looks like an oiled cat is sitting on his head…what else might Bishop Eddie Long be trying to conceal?
