The I-Man's Blog: Jimmy Carter

Who is the most appalling A-hole on the planet?  Given that Pol Pot is dead?  Michael Vick might have had that distinction until John Edwards happened.  Mel Gibson?  Bernie Madoff? Osama Bin Laden?  Excuse me, but I don’t think so.  Not so long as the 39th President of the United States is alive.

Jimmy Carter. The very name triggers a physical cringe-gag reflex.  Jimmy Carter is a walking emetic.
 
Did you see him on “60 Minutes” Sunday?  How did you manage to sit through that?  We owe a debt of gratitude to Lesley Stahl for adding conclusive corroboration of everything we’ve ever thought about the crazy meddling bastard: Jimmy Carter is Earth’s most detestable person.

Let’s list his attributes:

Okay, let’s forget it…
He has none.

Maybe one.  He’s 85 years old.  So he can’t possibly be around much longer to annoy everything that breathes. I know the whole thing about how he served aboard a nuclear submarine and all of that.  But did he just stand too close to the reactor, or did he actually stick his head inside?  Because he is a clinical idiot.
And a bitter one at that.

You saw his latest idiocy Sunday evening:  Accusing Ted Kennedy, a dead guy, of stopping a health care bill that Carter whined he tried to get passed back in the 70’s.  He said it was personal.  America would have had a reformed health care system today if Kennedy hadn’t ruined everything because he didn’t want Carter to have any sort of major accomplishment because he hated him.  The only problem with Carter’s analysis is this:  Everybody hated him.  Hated him then and hates him now.  I hate him.  Whether you admit it or not, you hate him.  Has there ever been a more bellyaching, sour, moaning, wimp-assed, incompetent sulking turd?  No there hasn’t.  He says Kennedy stopped his health care idea back when evil planets aligned to somehow actually make Carter the president…because Teddy didn’t want him to have major achievements.

Can you identify any major achievement he had?  Let’s list a few Carter Accomplishments:

Panama Canal1: He presided over the fall of the Shah of Iran and the installation of Ayatollah Khomeini, the crazed fruit loop who took over our embassy for 444 days and left the world in a condition where 9-11 could happen. Carter called Khomeini “a liberator.”  Jesus.
2:  He gave the Panama Canal to China. 
3:  He signed off on the “Community Reinvestment Act” that brought us subprime loans and, today, an America that is owned by China.
4:  And, speaking of the insane regimes, Carter never met a murdering despot he didn’t like.  Yugoslav’s Marshal Tito:  “A man who believes in human rights.”  North Korea’s Kim Il-Sung:  “Vigorous, intelligent, surprisingly well-informed.”  Romania’s Ceausescu:  “Our goals are the same.”  And Castro and Noriega and Marcos and Mao and on and on.
5:  He had that “Ripley’s Believe it or Not” family of mutants.
6:  And he grew peanuts.  What the hell did we expect?

When Eugene McCarthy was asked why he voted for Reagan in 1980, his explanation was that Carter had “abdicated the whole responsibility of the presidency while in office.  He left the nation at the mercy of its enemies at home and abroad.  He simply was the worst president we ever had.”

McCarthy nearly had it right.  But he really could have gone just a little further to say, “There simply never has been a dumber sonofabitch in a position to f- -k up everything in recorded history.  Never.”   There’s dumb - that's forgivable.  Then there’s repulsive and dumb - that’s not. 

And that’s Jimmy Carter.  Thanks a lot, A-hole.