July 14: Fidel is Back; Guns in Chicago; and Mel Gibson, Diplomat?

• Analysts remain mystified...as to why former Cuban dictator Fidel Castro agreed to appear on television this week, after health issues kept him sidelined for the past four years. 83-year-old tyrant addressed matters ranging from nuclear proliferation to energy concerns but left unaddressed why, if there is a reason, he apparently enlisted rats to groom his beard during his lengthy public absence.
• Obesity Drug being Tested by FDA. Concerns remain over experimental weight loss drug, “Onexa.” Government reports there have been some problems with memory loss and attention span deficiencies with Onexa’s use…raising the possibility, researchers say, that if Onexa is not effective as a weight loss drug in certain individuals,  patients may not only remain fat, but also fat and stupid.
• "Best Places to Live" list released by “Money” magazine: Survey focused on smaller cities this year with populations of 50-thousand to 300-thousand. Locations in Minnesota, Maryland and Massachusetts topped the 2010 findings with Eden Prairie, Minnesota taking first place. The only drawback noted – you have to move to Eden Prairie, Minnesota. Jeezus.
• “Franken’s Felons.”  Recount that turned former “Saturday Night Live” comedian Al Franken into a United States senator may have been decided by convicted felons who voted illegally in Minnesota’s Twin Cities.  According to watchdog group, Minnesota Majority, 899 suspected felons were matched to Hennepin County’s voting records.  Franken beat incumbent Norm Coleman by 312 votes.  Stephen Hawking not required to…“do the math.”
• Monday marked historic change in Chicago’s gun law after U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling of last month determined city’s handgun ban to be unconstitutional. Now, a new ordinance seeks to skirt high court’s decision and impose a number of arduous new restrictions on gun ownership. Recent history shows Chicago’s ongoing gun crackdown working well, recalling recent weekend in Windy City when 52 people were shot, 8 fatally. One weekend. Baghdad, anybody?
• Mel Gibson, diplomat? Sources say State Department, frustrated by inability to dissuade Iran from pursuing the “A-bomb,” may reach out to actor to speak bluntly to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad…based on Mr. Gibson’s demonstrated and truly extraordinary expertise in deploying the “F-bomb.” Developing…
• Can This Marriage be Saved? Short answer: No. Amy Teresa Ricks of Utah has a new piece of jewelry.  An ankle bracelet.  Received from police after, they say, she blindfolded her husband, promised him “a surprise,” and hit him in the head with a hammer.  Reason not disclosed – presupposing she had one.  Mr. Ricks survived “felony aggravated assault,” and might want to think about hiding the family chainsaw.