The I-Man's Blog: "I'm Not a Witch"
And too bad. Because Halloween’s the 31st. I don’t know about you, but I’d say Delaware’s Christine O’Donnell renounced the Occult a little too early.
The latest Fox News “state poll” out this week shows Ms. O’Donnell has failed to pick up a single point on her Democrat opponent, Chris Coons, and is going to get clobbered. If she’d maintained the witch thing a few days longer, maybe she could at least have locked up the October demon vote. But, “political correctness” got in the way, she went wobbly, bailed on her “banshee base” and got talked into doing that humiliating “I’m not a witch but I am on Quaaludes” TV ad in which she appeared to be in a Middle-earth, Hogwarts, Cheech and Chong, “chasing the dragon” Smack trance. It didn’t help.
Actually, she did what I am often accused of doing: Going whichever way the wind happens to be blowing at any given moment. I dispute that.
In fact, I believe Ms. O’Donnell should have stuck with her “inner fiend.” We’ve never had a witch run for congress, Nancy Pelosi notwithstanding, and god knows the country could stand some genuine wizardry given where things are. “Hope and change,” so far, sucks. Could “Hex and Hoodoo” be any worse? I doubt it.
And now they’re “debating.” Christine and Mr. Coons. Jesus. How can that possibly end well? Chris Coons went to Amherst, got a B.A. in chemistry and political science, earned a Truman Scholarship, a J.D. from Yale Law and a Master’s in ethics from Yale Divinity. Christine appears to have gone nowhere beyond the online “College of the Sacred Mists of Yore” and basically makes Sarah Palin look like a cross between Margaret Thatcher and Socrates. So “representational argument” of any sort may not be her long suit.
All of which makes you wonder, really, how in god’s name did she manage to beat congressman and former governor Mike Castle in the primary in the first place? Unless, of course, she is a witch.
So here’s my bottom line: As a New York resident, I agree with the folks who are lamenting the fact that they never seem to get their very own self-aggrandizing, non-masturbating, delusional, pathologically peculiar and utterly offensive politician to vote against in their home states. …Wait a minute: We’ve got Chuck Schumer. Never mind.