A Homerun or Touchdown or Whatever Sports Analogy You Choose By Lt. Col. Bill Cowan!

Lt. Col. Bill Cowen made his debut on "Imus in the Morning" today, and it was an interesting, informative spot. But why would Imus focus on that when he could instead kill his producers for not booking Cowan, a Fox News military analyst, sooner?

Cowan, for one, was all smiles this morning, speaking eloquently on subjects like reversing Don't Ask Don't Tell, the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, and his own time serving this country during the Vietnam War.

The military's "Don't Ask Don't Tell" rule can be reversed today, Cowan said, because, "These days our young men and women in the military have grown up in an environment where homosexuality is not quite as harsh and bad as we saw it when we were there."

That's right: Cowan, a bona fide American hero, said "we," acknowledging that the I-Man "served" in the Marine Corps. A bugler, Imus admitted he might have been one of those marines who was neither asked nor told.

Regardless of sexual orientation, thousands of men and women are serving admirably around the world right now in places like Iraq, where elections will be held next month. Cowan, who was in Iraq in November, believes dissidents will try to destabilize the elections and whatever subsequent government emerges. But the troops there gave him reason to be optimistic.

"They were all very positive and upbeat about the Iraqis they were working with," he said. "So I think, at the end of the day, Iraq is going to work, it's going to stabilize."

Afghanistan, however, still has a long way to go. Reports coming out of the country, where the United States has recently shifted its approach, have been conflicting.

"I think we seem to be doing okay," said Cowan. "General McChrystal ... has changed the way we're fighting that war over there. He's got us out there working with the local populations. That's important in a counterinsurgency."

Success in Afghanistan, he added, will be determined by the American public's will to stay there for the long haul. "Our goal is to create a stable environment," said Cowan. "Not to be there forever."

But the United States will maintain a presence in Afghanistan for some time, much like it will in Iraq once combat troops pull out in June, and like it has for decades in places like South Korea and Vietnam.

Cowan spent three-and-a-half years in Vietnam, and said it was a "truly good experience" He claims he never witnessed any of the events typically associated with the war there, like drug use, burning villages, or murdered civilians.

"It doesn't sound like you had any fun," said Imus.

-Julie Kanfer