Matthew Hiltzik, Publicist to the Stars (And to Imus) Breaks Down Tiger Woods

Matthew Hiltzik, the PR pro charged with keeping Imus's name out of the headlines, offered his crisis management advice to Tiger Woods this morning. First, he analyzed what went wrong.

"It's an internal issue more than an external one," Hiltzik said. "He wasn't seeming to come clean with this own people in his own inner circle. Either no one around him knew what the real story was, or no one around him wanted to believe what the story was."

Hiltzik believes there should have been a contingency plan to deal with a situation like this one, where now around a dozen women have claimed to have, let's say, "liaised" with Woods. The best plan for now, however, is to keep quiet.

"We don't know how many more women there are, or if there's any other shoe that needs to drop," Hiltzik said. "He's got to wait until all those things come out because if he starts to comment in the middle and then something else happens, then he's going to be expected to keep commenting."

To make our guest feel at home, Charles erotically recited an e-mail leaked to the press from Woods to one of his favorite mistresses, Rachel Uchitel.

"I finally found someone I connect with, someone I have never found like this, even at home," Charles read. "You want someone to witness your life. I want you to lay next to me, lay on me. Wherever you want to lay."

Sufficiently uncomfortable, Hiltzik said Woods's people should have known him better, so as to protect him from himself. After all, he added, "He's the one who did this."

When Woods does speak, Hiltzik said it should be with just one person, and it should be a venue that reaches a very specific demographic: men who like sports. As an example, Hiltzik said someone like Katie Couric on 60 Minutes would work well.

"You're just pitching your own clients!" Imus yelled. "You're a disgrace!"

Unafraid of the I-Man, Hiltzik countered that 60 Minutes, which follows football games this time of year, would capture the appropriate audience. Another option, he said, would be for Woods to sit down with someone like Bryant Gumbel, from HBO's Real Sports, who has both experience and credibility with sports fans.

Despite his wounded image, Woods has committed no crime (not yet, anyway) and Hiltzik surmised he'll play golf again, and he'll play it well. If sponsorships fall through, as one already has with Gatorade, he's got no one to blame but himself.

Said Hiltzik, "He has to live with the consequences."

-Julie Kanfer