While Discussing the Psychotic Behavior of Others, Bo Dietl "Goes Postal"

It's a good thing that one of the most established news programs of all time, 60 Minutes, has Bo Dietl as a news source. Otherwise, it's unlikely they'd ever unearth any stories, like the one reported last night about cyber-terrorism.

"I discussed this two weeks ago on your show!" Bo hollered, referring to news that China is snatching top-secret government and satellite codes from U.S. computer databases.

Imus was certain that 60 Minutes had been working on this story for some time, but Bo wouldn't hear of it. And Bo probably literally couldn't hear what Imus was saying, because he didn't stop screaming over him during this entire appearance.

"Whenever we crank something up, they're watching, they're mirroring what's going on," Bo continued, talking about China. "When we communicate with our satellites, they're watching it, and they know what our codes are."

While attempting to paraphrase something 60 Minutes reporter Steve Kroft said during last night's show, Imus distracted himself by remarking that Kroft has had some "work done" around his eyes. Bo picked up on this point, lashing out at innocent victim Katie Couric, calling her "a cougar" who should date men her own age.

Once that madness passed, Bo discussed his friend Andre Agassi, who was also featured in yesterday's edition of 60 Minutes in an interview with Couric.

"Andre's a dear friend of mine," Bo said, once he finished bragging that Agassi had kissed him at center court after winning the U.S. Open. "He's a very religious guy ... he's a great gentleman, a great father. He's raised over $150 million for underprivileged children. This is an American icon!"

So what if he did some crystal meth back in the day? "He made a mistake," Bo said.

Bo defended Agassi against accusations Martina Navratilova made that doing crystal meth invalidated any championships he won during that time. "What, she's got no skeletons in her closet?" Bo said, and started down a path we'd rather not follow.

Instead, Imus was forced to listen to Bo's analysis of last week's shooting at Fort Drum in Texas by Army Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, a devout Muslim.

"Is this an act of terrorism? Damn right it was!" said Bo. "When he's screaming 'Allahu Akbar' and he's shooting people- what else do you want?"

Bo is no stranger to "going postal," as Hasan did when he shot and killed 13 people last week. Despite the gravity of the events, Imus was frightened by something else entirely.

"You actually scare me," he told Bo. "You're a lunatic."

-Julie Kanfer