From the Green Room: Angelina's Biography
Tuesday, August 3, 2010 
There’s a new, unauthorized biography about Angelina Jolie that paints her as a bizarrely eccentric woman whose behavior is grounded in a deeply troubled childhood due to an extremely unorthodox family dynamic.
Not exactly the Book of Revelations.
However, it IS a fascinating read, as she is one of the most enigmatic figures in pop culture today. Every page has a train wreck quality about it; the reader is alternately compelled and repulsed, yet can’t turn away. Among the myriad anecdotes and recollections about her, to say the very least, “storied” life are episodes of drug use, bisexuality and suicidal thoughts. And those were just the pre-school years.
She had a mother-sanctioned live-in boyfriend at age 14 who shared her passion for knives and swords as well as a proclivity for “cutting” himself. Her suicidal obsession once drove her to the point where she put a hit out…on herself. Pills would seem somewhat easier, or even closing the garage door while keeping the 
BMW running, but you really have to want to die to stage your own assassination. Let’s say you change your mind—how do you convince your hired gun to call it off? Hit men are, for the most part, pretty focused individuals, not easily interrupted. Thankfully, Angelina was able to avoid getting whacked to provide us with many more years of weird and wacky hijinx.
Not the least of which was the famous kiss she gave her brother after she won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar. It was not a buss normally associated with siblings…unless said kinfolk hailed from West Virginia. It was a full-on, Seven-Minutes-in-Heaven soul kiss, bringing new meaning to the term “brotherly love.”
But some of the juiciest disclosures are about her former husband, Billy Bob Thornton, he of “Sling Blade” fame. They suggest that his breakout role as mentally disturbed murderer ‘Carl’ was not that much of a stretch, acting-wise. Thornton is painted as a man of many idiosyncrasies, with obsessive-compulsive disorder, a paralyzing fear of flying, and a hatred of harpsichords, silverware…and French furniture. Which is probably why he never turns up on “Antiques Roadshow.”
Oh, and he only eats orange colored foods.
I’m waiting for the Billy Bob Bio. I’m a big fan of Tang.
