From the Green Room: The Larry King Divorce
Monday, April 19, 2010 
A stunned nation learned last week that legendary talk show host Larry King was getting a divorce from wife number 8, chanteuse Shawn Southwick. Contributing factors may or may not include eating disorders, rehab visits, slap fights, and extra marital affairs: he with her sister, she with their son’s Little League baseball coach. As we are not above making spurious and false allegations ourselves, herewith are the:
Top 8 Most Surprising Revelations Regarding The Larry King Divorce
8- Papers Cite “irreconcilable differences,” “alienation of affection,” and “she’s really pitchy, dog.”
7- Larry promised he would love Shawn “until the end of time.” Seeing as his time’s just about over, he figured he’d “cash out early to beat the traffic.”
6- Twice a year, when they made love, she would scream out other men’s names…who would then answer her from under the bed.
5- He wanted to be free so he could finally make an honest woman of Betty White.
4- Southwick had “moral issues” with treatment of pigs who provided valves for Larry’s quintuple bypass.
3- After 13 years, Shawn was finally tired of “Pant-less Fridays.”
2- Larry frustrated with his wife’s refusal to agree to a threesome with Abe Vigoda
And the number ONE most surprising revelation regarding the Larry King Divorce?
He was “hung like a salmon.”
