From the Green Room: Paula Deen's Answer to the Double Down

Y’all, today, I’m taking a cue from Kentucky Fried Chicken and coming up with my own version of the Double Down Sandwich, featuring all the main food groups: Oink, Cluck and Moo.

The Bacon, Egg, and Cheese “Double or Nothing High Roller Hoagie.”

• Take 4 dried, Smoked Pigs’ ears, and deep fry ‘em until they’re crispy in 40 sticks of melted butter, combined with a quart of two stroke engine oil.  That’s gonna be our bread.
• Next, we’re gonna take a dozen sliced, hard boiled eggs put ‘em in a bowl, add three jars of chunky peanut butter, 5 cans of pitted black olives, and 14 boxes of Instant Butterscotch pudding and whip it into a frosting like consistency.
• Fry up a pound of bacon, don’t drain it, just set it aside while you make your dressing: One jar of mayonnaise, one jar of marshmallow fluff, a tin of anchovies, and a half a carton of unfiltered Chesterfields, leave the paper on, cos’ you need your fiber.
• Take your pig ear out the fryer, smear half of your peanut butter, olive, butterscotch pudding mixture onto it, top it with half of the pound of the bacon, cover that with four slices of Velveeta cheese, and put that in the toaster oven until it gets all melty.
• Top it with your mayo/marshmallow fluff/anchovy/cigarette dressing, put the other pig ear on top and you got a grinder that will make the “Double Down” look like a diet vegan appetizer. 

Makes two sandwiches, one for each hand. (Because it’s important to eat a balanced diet.)

Bon Appetite, y’all!