From the Green Room: Tiger's Advice for Obama
Thursday, March 18, 2010 
Tiger Woods, whose approval rating was not the greatest back in November, is planning to make his comeback at the Masters in April. Barack Obama, whose approval rating is even worse than Tiger’s ever was, needs to make a comeback himself. I think Tiger could provide the President with some advice on how to get back to the "Hopey Changey" feeling that we all experienced back when he was first inaugurated.
Therefore, herewith, I humbly submit Tiger Woods’s Top Seven Tips For President Barack Obama:
7: The unemployment rate is 10 percent. Have them put you down for 5.
6: Your health care bill is like teeing off into a water trap. Take the mulligan.
5: Never take advice from Caddies or Vice Presidents. They’re both morons. If they knew what they were doing, you’d be holding THEIR bag.
4: Afghanistan is like a sand trap. Get out quick and rake it when you’re through.
3: Your birth certificate should be treated like a golf scorecard. Don’t turn it in until the END of your presidency.
2: When you get a heckler in your gallery…get a Scandinavian woman to beat him like he had sex with a cocktail waitress.
1: Being a tall, skinny, mixed-race man with a big smile will get you far in life. DON’T EFF IT UP.
