Paula Deen: Lenten Mounds

Hey y’all, you know, Lent is always a difficult time in the kitchen, because it’s a time of sacrifice and repentance, and not eating meat.  So here’s my recipe for my “Lenten ‘Mea Culpa’ Mounds”.  First you take a Leek.  Not the kind you have to take after you’ve drunk too much beer, I’m talking about the onion-like vegetable.  Chop it up and put it into a non-metallic bowl that you’ve greased with half a spray can of WD 40, then take some room temperature fish sticks… put ‘em through a potato ricer and mix’em all together with twelve sticks of softened butter, a cup of peanut shells and the tops of twelve Bic Pens. Put the pens aside, cos’ we’re gonna use them for garnish later.  Pour that mixture into a nine by seventeen glass casserole dish and cover it with six sliced Moon Pies and a can of lukewarm RC Cola.  Then smooth your fish stick, peanut shell, pen top, Moon Pie, RC Cola mixture with s spoon, crumble some fiberglass insulation over the top, and pop it into the microwave on High until you notice an acrid smell.  Take out the casserole dish, and run it under cold water until it stops sizzling, and then portion it all out into wooden bowls using an ice cream scoop… fashion the Bic pens  you put aside earlier into little crosses and stick them on top before serving, to signify the Passion of our Lord, and serve.  Mmmm mmmm.  Atonement and contrition that you can eat!  Happy Lent, y’all!