Larry King's Thoughts of the Day
Somehow, the world doesn’t seem the same cold, stark place when you’re walking around with a slice of olive loaf in each shoe…
Show of hands, who thinks Jerry Van Dyke is our greatest National Treasure?
If Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig’s disease, how come a small plane crash is not known as ‘Buddy Holly’s Disease’?
When you get to thinking about it, an elevator has to smell a helluva lot different to Gary Coleman…
Seeing Eye Dogs are so helpful, you gotta wonder why there’s no ‘Hearing Ear Dogs’, ‘Smelling Nose Dogs’, and ‘Tasting Tongue Dogs’…
Here’s something I need to know, almost immediately: How can you tell when Sour Cream has gone bad?
You wouldn’t know it by looking at me, but right now, as I’m typing this, I have a live trout in my pants…
One thing I’ve learned during my 97 years on this planet: The lap dance is always better when the topless chick is crying.