Neil Cavuto Earns "Guest of the Millenium" Award For Appearing with Imus Six Times in Two Days

Neil Cavuto took some time off from not washing his hair this morning to appear with Imus not once, not twice, but three times to say, basically, that the Senate will vote later today on the debt agreement that the House passed last night.
 
“In spite of this boogeyman, Freddy Kruger, Friday the 13^th nightmare scenario you painted, trying to scare us to death,” Imus said, referring to Cavuto’s warnings yesterday that a deal was not guaranteed. “The debt bill just sailed through the House!”
 
Likewise, Cavuto believes the bill will sail through the Senate, and he lamented the oft-negative tone his interactions with Imus take. “We immediately start off on a bad foot,” Cavuto said. (In Imus’s defense, it’s pretty much the only foot he’s got.)
 
The House approved raising the debt ceiling, Cavuto explained, in response to the markets. “The leaders were telling some of the more reluctant members, ‘Are you seeing what’s going on in the Dow? Are you seeing this volatility?’” Cavuto said. “More than a few were persuaded by the possibility of repeating what happened in 2008, when TARP was originally rejected and that led to an 800-point swoon in the Dow.”
 
Both men momentarily put aside their differences to remark on the touching moment when Rep. Gabrielle Giffords returned to the floor of the House last night, nearly seven months after a crazed gunman shot her in the head outside an Arizona supermarket. “It was one of the few uplifting moments in this whole sordid saga,” Cavuto observed.
 
The Senate vote will likely take place around noon today, with the Senators eager to skip town for a five-week recess. Most members of the House have already fled Washington, though it remains unclear when Cavuto will leave and cease appearing on television every five minutes.
 
Which reminded Imus to criticize his guest’s coif. “Your hair this morning looks all greasy,” he said, with love. “Normally is looks all fluffy. This morning it looks like you slept under your car.”
 
Not to be outdone, Cavuto shot back, “Yours looks like cotton candy in a wind tunnel.” Told that he probably won’t have any hair left when he’s Imus’s age, Cavuto replied, “When I’m your age, hopefully, I’m dead.”
 
Then Cavuto pulled an Imus, complaining about the lack of attention given him yesterday on this website. “Nowhere did you acknowledge my troika of fine appearances with you,” he whined. In his defense, Imus offered that it was an oversight, and one that was not his fault.
 
But Cavuto wasn’t having any of it, accusing Imus of acting like Obama by deferring blame. Not sure what else to say, Imus hurled an insult, suggesting Cavuto find time to wash his hair ahead of his next appearance on this show, or anywhere else.
 
 
-Julie Kanfer