Just a Hunch: Michael Graham Not Thrilled with Obama

Unlike everybody who works for Imus, Michael Graham is having a great time over at his radio station in Boston. Accused of being a “spineless worm” for failing to criticize a fellow host, Graham offered little defense. “I’m happy to have a job, Don,” he said. “Not sure if you’ve heard: 9.2 percent unemployment out there, baby!”
 
Not only has Imus heard about the sky-high unemployment, but he’s also familiar with the debt crisis, which, if there is a God, will be resolved by day’s end. Thanks to Graham and his fellow Tea Partiers, the deal to raise the debt ceiling includes massive spending cuts and no tax hikes.
 
“Remember the spirit of love that we all felt right after the horrible shooting of Gabrielle Giffords?” Graham said. “Apparently, the spirit of love doesn’t extend to people President Obama doesn’t like. We’re still bomb-throwers, hostage-takers, holding a gun to people’s heads.”
 
Not only did the Tea Party wing of the Republican Party beat President Obama and the Democrats by holding out for a better deal than the ones presented last week, but Graham contended it was “a horrible, awful beat down” indicative of Obama’s loser-ness.
 
It was a point not lost on conservative columnist Peggy Noonan, who expressed a similar sentiment last week in an article Graham expounded on this morning. “The summary of her column was that we now know who Obama really is,” he said. “He’s not the devil, he’s not a socialist—he’s a loser. And the one thing Americans cannot abide is a loser.”
 
Something Imus cannot abide, however, is Peggy Noonan. “If I were going to make a list of 100 things to do,” he said ominously. “Reading anything she wrote would not be on that list.”
 
Neither would defending Obama, even though, as Imus pointed out, he’s simply doing the best job he can. “Has he done anything that’s worked yet?” Graham said, and highlighted the stimulus package as one example of the President’s failed policies. “They said unemployment won’t go above eight percent, it’s going to turn the economy around…instead, this is the fifth quarter now that growth has gone down.”
 
Everything “this loser” has done, in Graham’s view, has been ineffective. “I have no sympathy for this arrogant, I’m-smarter-than-you, clueless moron,” he said. “I can take stupid, I can take arrogant. I cannot take them together.”
 
The Senate is expected to pass the debt deal today, following the House’s favorable vote last night. Or, as Imus predicted and Graham summed up perfectly, everybody knew all along that “these dopes in Washington were going to mumble and bumble around” and get something done before tonight’s default deadline.
 
But Graham wasn’t done talking smack about Obama, whom he blames for the so-called “crisis” that plagued Washington for weeks. Instead of compromising with Republicans on raising the debt ceiling from the get-go, Graham thinks the President tried to tra” the opposition into raising taxes by pushing off a deal until the last minute.
 
As 2012 approaches and Obama and everybody else preps for reelection, Graham believes the Tea Party will be the Democrats’ prime target. “They’re going to call us pedophiles, wife-beaters, soccer fans,” he surmised. “There is no bottom.”
 
How about “Imus?”
 
-Julie Kanfer