Greg Gutfeld on Brits, Trump, and What He Will Not Discuss Tonight on "Red Eye"

Among other titles, like host of Fox News’s "Red Eye" and former editor of Maxim and Men’s Health magazines, Greg Gutfeld also claims the enviable distinction of being one of the original bloggers on The Huffington Post—and the only one to have inspired a petition to get his blog taken down.
 
“I want to talk about the royal wedding,” he immediately declared this morning. “I feel sorry for anybody who’s British in America, because if you’re not on TV right now you’ve got to be hideous.”
 
Having lived in England for three years while he was editing Maxim, Gutfeld is familiar with many English customs: for instance, “pork scratchings,” a less-than-delectable delicacy Gutfeld writes about in his 2008 book, Lessons from the Land of Pork Scratchings.
 
“It’s about what it was like to be a Yank surrounded by legions of alcoholics,” he said. “And how everyday you’d have to basically skip over puddles of vomit to get to work.”
 
Pork scratchings, for the record, according to Gutfeld, are “the British version of pork rinds, but it’s got hair on it.” Why is there hair on it? “The problem with England is that they’ve given up on everything. So they don’t even bother plucking the hair out of the food that they sell you.”
 
"Red Eye" airs on Fox News at 3 o’clock in the morning, but Gutfeld told Imus he tapes the show each night at 8:30pm, a fact he’s loath to share with too many people. “I don’t like to ruin the fantasy,” he said. “I like to tell people we’re actually doing it at 3 AM, because that gives us a bit of leeway in our lack of professionalism.”
 
On today’s program, Gutfeld suspected he’ll spend some time talking about Donald Trump, but only because it’s “unavoidable.” “He keeps saying that ‘everybody’ wants him to run—nobody does!” Gutfeld said. “He’s the only one who’s saying it!”
 
The most recent psychopath to jump on the Trump birther train is former 9/11 truther Charlie Sheen, but as Gutfeld noted, there’s little difference between the two conspiracy theories. “All conspiracy theories are the same,” he said. “It’s about this phony intellectualism: ‘I’m only asking a question!’ But they never actually do the legwork to answer it.”
 
Besides Trump, the only other thing Gutfeld could say about tonight’s edition of "Red Eye" is that he probably won’t focus on the “God Particle,” a recent, complicated discovery at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland that scientists belive could be, as Charles briefly explained, “The particle that imbues everything with mass.”
 
Gutfeld admitted this story has come up a few times in "Red Eye" editorial meetings, but has never made it on the air. “Whenever anybody brings it up, we go, ‘Do you have anything on Trump?’” he said. “It’s like, who are you trying to impress here?”
 
-Julie Kanfer