In Staying the Same Color, Bo Dietl Disappoints

Bo Dietl claimed he was most interested this morning in talking about two cops who were murdered last week in Tampa, Florida during what Bo called “an ordinary car stop.” It was therefore curious that Bo kicked off this morning’s lackluster appearance by talking about, well, something else.

Using the recent arrest of so-called Russian spies in the United States as a springboard, Bo highlighted the need for corporations to protect sensitive information.

“Most of these spy things don’t come from people getting information, breaking into companies,” he said. “What they do is they have people who work in these companies.”

Bo further confused Imus as he explained the “different levels” within corporations; who can access “proprietary information” and who cannot; and something about “blueprints” and “firewalls.”

“RSA is a security division of EMC,” said Bo, using abbreviations for what we think are companies. The way Bo described it, RSA installs firewalls and alarms and all sorts of bells and whistles that prevent unauthorized employees from accessing confidential information about their own company.

“This is important stuff for corporations,” said Bo. “We happen to be in this business, so it’s good.”

Finally understanding the reason for Bo’s riff, Imus said, “This is a pitch for business!”

But, as Bo pointed out, a pitch for something very serious, even if it bored Imus to tears. He was all ears, however, when Bo mentioned that the two “hero cops” in Tampa should have taken out their guns, pointed down, before approaching the car containing the men who would kill them.

“When a cop stops a suspicious car, you take your gun,” said Bo, a former cop. “I’d always take my gun out, hold it down.”

Bo’s eloquent response to people objecting to cops wielding their guns at a traffic stop is, “Tough bananas!”

He wondered, hypothetically, if the I-Man would have a problem being pulled over for, say, speeding, and being approached by a cop with a gun pointed down.

To which Imus replied, “Maybe I didn’t help you, but this is just not a great appearance.”

A great appearance, at least in Imus’s view, includes Bo “screaming, and changing colors.”

Noted.

-Julie Kanfer