BREAKING: Politician (Rep. Eric Cantor) Refuses to Answer a Question

Congressman Eric Cantor, a Republican hailing from Virginia, where Warner Wolf recently stayed in a Motel 6, thinks enough has been said about Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele.

“Obviously I just disagree with what he said about the war in Afghanistan,” said Cantor, referring to Steele calling it “a war of Obama’s choosing,” a position that is inconsistent with Republican tenets.

Asked whether Steele should step down, Cantor was predictably coy.

“That’s not for me to decide,” he said, pointing to Steele’s success in doing “the job of an RNC chairman” by raising money for the party in coming elections.

Annoyed, Imus said, “I wasn’t suggesting you were going to decide. I wanted to know what you thought.”

So Cantor droned on about Steele’s role being “separate and apart” from that of a Republican office holder, and how he hopes Steele’s “inappropriate” and “inaccurate” comments don’t distract him from doing “the things that a party chair does.”

But Imus was distracted by Cantor’s obvious dodge of his question. “I stopped listening,” he admitted. “Because all I’m thinking about is that the bastard won’t answer my question.”

Trying desperately to get something, anything out of Cantor, Imus wondered if Steele should be “sent to his room” or given a “time out.”

“I think he’s got plenty of time outs over the last couple of days,” said Cantor, who has spoken with Steele and expressed his disappointment.

To Imus, Steele seems like “pretty much a moron,” but a moron who might be right. “I don’t see how we can win there,” said Imus, acknowledging that obviously the U.S. wants to win. “I know we can’t lose, but we’re going to.”

The United States, Cantor insisted, understands the nature of the threat in Afghanistan, and the risk to the entire region should we fail. He believes General David Petraeus must now finesse to Afghanis the troop withdrawal date of July 2011 that Obama set last year.

“The perception now in the region is sort of a question of the commitment we’ve got in this country,” he said of Afghanistan. “We cannot be sending that.”

Imus suggested the U.S. and its enemies employ a tactic used by the Comanche Indians in their battles with Texas and others. “One side or the other would simply say they won, and go home,” said Imus. “Maybe we should do that there.”

Cantor chuckled at the comparison of the Comanche Indians to the Islamic terrorists, but Imus assured him the Comanche’s were “the baddest tribe on the planet,” capable of riding a horse full speed and shooting ten arrows before the first arrow hit the ground.

“Can the Taliban do that?” Imus asked. Realizing his guest would probably dodge that question too, he said, “No, they can’t.”

-Julie Kanfer