It's Kind of Obvious Why Jay Mohr's Parents Drank

Actor and comedian Jay Mohr checked in with Imus today to promote his new book No Wonder My Parents Drank, which Imus described as “cashing in on his child.”

Mohr did not deny this allegation. “I almost named my son ‘Book Advance,’” he said. “I didn’t know whether to hyphenate it. ‘Book-Advance Mohr.’”

He then said something disparaging about his ex-wife, to whom he no longer speaks, and which will not be repeated in this forum, and explained to Imus the concept of joint custody.

“When people get divorced, Don, the child will go from one home, and then go back to the other home,” he said. “And you write a nice big check to the other person monthly to make sure they have enough money for ramen noodles at $4,000 a month.”

But Mohr loves his son Jackson, who is 8, and said the book is really about wanting back in on “the circus” when you realize your child can fend for themselves. “Even though he still takes all his clothes off to go number two,” Mohr said. “He still does this, I don’t know why. You’ll be in the mall, they walk into the food court, butt naked, and say, ‘I’m done, Daddy!’”

Mohr will make the regular media rounds this week, to shows like The View, but was curiously turned down by Hannity. “I’m a right wing guy!” he protested. “Drill, baby, drill! Gay marriage? Come on! The Catholics are ruining everything!”

Not long ago, Mohr took his son to church, where he heard for the first time the Monsignor say that Jesus broke the law. “We’re in the car afterwards, he’s like, ‘I can’t believe Jesus broke the law,’” Mohr said. “He was crestfallen, like, ‘I was really into this Catholic thing, but Jesus is a lawbreaker.’”

To explain, Mohr likened Jesus to a Jedi who used the force to flip the guy from the dark side back into the Federation. “And my son goes, ‘Oh, okay, then I’m glad a lit a candle,’” said Mohr.
 
A former alcoholic, Mohr confessed parenting would probably be a lot easier if he, like his parents, drank. On learning Imus—but not Charles—was also a recovering alcoholic, Mohr speculated on Charles’s post-show activities.

“He’s a derelict, look at him,” said Mohr. “He can’t wait to go across the street to O’Grady’s. He can’t wait ‘til 3 o’clock when he can hit on some fours.”

Currently the star of CBS’s “Gary Unmarried,” Mohr thinks that the success of his book could dictate whether his show gets picked up for a third season. Either way, he’d like to spend more time with the I-Man.

“If the Bradlees don’t make it, I’ll come back,” said Mohr, referring to Imus’s guests next hour. “I’ll make a u-turn in the music express car.”

Endlessly entertained by the cast of characters shuttling him around New York City, Mohr marveled at the…let’s say…diversity among drivers. “Everyime I get in a cab,” he said, “It’s some guy from Haiti dressed like Bel Biv Devoe.”

-Julie Kanfer