Some Advice for Bo

To say that Bo Dietl was dissatisfied with Warner Wolf taking a class on how to determine when people are lying would be putting it lightly.  

“A course? And right away you’re an expert at it?” Bo said to Warner, who had claimed no such thing.

Those courses, according to Bo, are “full of baloney,” and the only real way to gain experience decoding body language is to become a detective. “You develop a sixth sense where you feel somebody’s lying,” said Bo, adding that just because somebody “twitches” or “twatches” (not a real word) does not mean they are lying.

After all, real, hardened criminals have some pretty astounding capabilities. “They’ll sit there and recite the Gettysburg Address after they murdered ten people,” said Bo. “And you will believe it.”

There is no logical reason why a murderer would recite the historical, moving Gettysburg Address after committing heinous crimes, but logic is never a big factor with Bo, who insisted these sort of deranged human beings frequently believe their own lies.

Since he was on a roll, Bo decided to defend “a friend,” Lawrence Taylor, the former New York Giant who recently admitted he paid $300 to have sex with a 16-year old girl who he thought was 19 years old. (Either way, it’s kind of a lose-lose situation).

Imus was disgusted by Bo’s claims that Taylor is “a wonderful guy,” and relayed a story that ran counter to Bo’s description.  While working at WFAN nearly 20 years ago, Imus had witnessed Taylor hitting on the receptionist.

“I didn’t know he was married,” Imus said. “I started talking about it on the air. He got all upset and started calling, making threats. He’s been a dirtbag from day one!”

Bo excused this behavior by saying, “He was the greatest linebacker ever!” Imus explained that O.J. Simpson, widely considered among the best football players of all time, also happened to have slit his wife’s throat. Oops.  

Disgusted by Bo’s continued defense of Taylor, Imus had some final directions for his guest:

1)    Go away
2)    Shoot Warner
3)    Shoot yourself

The reason? “So that I don’t have to deal with either one of you, ever again,” said Imus.

-Julie Kanfer