Nothing Can Prepare Imus for Bo Dietl

With a lot to talk about and not much sense to make, Bo Dietl exhausted himself and the I-Man during today’s appearance.

He began with a book recommendation: Joe Grano’s You Can’t Predict A Hero, which Imus featured on this program back in September. In the spirit of reciprocity, Imus suggested Bo read The Devil’s Casino, by Vicky Ward, about Lehman Brothers.

“I know Dick Fuld well, and I know that story,” Bo boasted, and insisted Fuld is not a moron. “He just got caught up.”

Bo blamed then Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson for not saving Lehman Brothers as he did other outfits like AIG. “Paulson threw them into the pit, destroyed Lehman Brothers,” said Bo, who used to go visit Fuld in his office where he displayed pictures of “old dudes from the 1860s.”

But that doesn’t mean Bo won’t read The Devil’s Casino. Told that the author was a hottie, Bo instantly caved, saying, “Okay, then I’ll read the book.”

A Catholic, Bo prays to nobody but God, and thinks any religious figure who abuses their authority should be investigated, dissected, and ultimately thrown out. Since Imus wasn’t listening to this or pretty much anything else Bo said, he commented on his guest’s complexion, which was deeply tanned, as usual.

“Look at me—I have black in me!” Bo said. “I’ve been telling you all along. I can dance. I can do a lot of things.”

Wandering even further off the reservation, Bo warned the audience against buying a product if the bar code begins with either 690, 691 or 692, because that means it was made in China

“I don’t care,” Imus said.

Bo then predicted that China will attack Taiwan in the next 20 years; that the United States will sit on its hands; and then he apologized to Japanese Americans who were interned during World War II.

“It’s a little late,” Imus said, as Bo changed topics again, shouting that it was time for the U.S. to become friends with Cuba. Oh, and the government should give money to the nearly bankrupt St. Vincent’s Hospital in downtown Manhattan.

“It’s unlikely the President is watching the program,” Imus told Bo. “Just between you and me.”

-Julie Kanfer