Imus Dares Michael Graham

Imus had difficulty hearing his guest Michael Graham this morning due to a poor phone line that made his voice sound muffled. But Graham, a talk show host on WTKK 96.9FM in Boston, is used to being misunderstood.

“My listeners have the same problem on a regular basis,” he said right before he hung up and called back.

Having reestablished connection, Graham continued on whatever insane rant he had begun just moments earlier. “There was more violence in one weekend in Arizona over their new law than there has been in the entire Tea Party movement,” said Graham, referring to Arizona’s recent passage of a strict immigration law allowing police officers to question suspicious people.

The reaction of the Obama administration to this law baffles Graham, who interpreted it as, “Hey, states—it’s not your job to handle immigration law, it’s our job to completely ignore immigration laws!”

Contrary to what Al Sharpton and other have claimed, the law does not permit police to accost random shmoes on their way home from the tanning salon. Rather, Graham explained, “The law says, if, during the course of regular police work, you contact somebody and then have probably cause, then you act.”

Imus, for one, is sick of his “liberal weenie” friends like Mike Lupica, who lives in Connecticut, whining that the law is unconstitutional. “If he lived out there, he’d be hysterical, and he’d be trying to get me or Fred over to his house with our guns—because God forbid he should own a gun—to protect him and his family,” said Imus.

Coincidentally, the topic of the last hour of Graham’s show yesterday had been, “You don’t have to be a gutless weasel to be a liberal—but it helps.” He sees great cowardice in the reaction of Democrats to immigration policy in general.

“They know that every time a criminal immigrant comes in the U.S., that somewhere there’s a person who needs a job, a kid from the projects, who needs his first job,” said Graham. “The guy who’s taking that job—he’s not taking jobs from the Lupicas and the Imuses and the Goldman Sachs of the world—he’s taking a job from a guy who wants to just get a job, dig a ditch, basic work.”

A similar lack of spine can be seen in a recent plan by cartoonists, called Everybody Draw Mohammed Day, to support their South Park brethren who are under fire for depicting the Prophet Mohammed as a bear in a recent episode.

“The liberal cartoonist [who started it] has now quit her own project!” Graham squawked. “She said, ‘I started the fight against feat, and I got afraid!’”

Imus had a suggestion for his daring guest. “Go on your program today, make fun of Mohammed, and then get back to me,” he said.

-Julie Kanfer