Somebody Made a Move Without Bo

Armed with three pages of notes this morning, Bo Dietl began today’s appearance by talking about, of all things, Hertz Rent-A-Car.

“Who is the chairman and CEO?” he asked Imus, then answered his own question. “Mark Frissora. He does not make a move without me. Hertz is the finest rent-a-car in the world.”

Hertz recently purchased another company in a deal valued at just over $1.25 billion, and it seemed like this was one move Frissora made without Bo, who couldn’t guess the name of the acquired brand.

“It was Dollar/Thrifty,” Imus finally told his bewildered guest.

From one irrelevant topic to another, Bo moved on to what he deemed “the most important thing in everybody’s life.” Well, everybody except for Imus.

“I’m talking about the average people out there,” said Bo. “People who are now looking forward to the autumn of their life after working their butt off, and getting a pension, and finally looking forward to Social Security.”

The catch? There’s no more money in Social Security, or in most pensions. “You’ve got people sitting, waiting to retire, and now their pension funds are getting funk-itated,” said Bo.

Imus then wondered if Bo had ever been in a situation, like Imus was now, where he wished he could just die instead of listening to someone speak. “I don’t want you to die,” Imus clarified. “I want to die. Like, I wish I could do out of body travel or something.”

Bo whined that Imus never pays attention to his important diatribes, like the one a few years ago when Bo warned of the mortgage debacle to come.

“You never told us anything!” Imus said. “You tell us after it’s already on the front page of the newspaper.”

In retaliation, Bo suggested Imus visit what he called “the King Tut museum” on 44th street (actual name: The Discovery Times Square Exhibition). “You remind me of one of those freakin’ mummies over there!” Bo screeched.

To which Imus calmly replied, “You’re now drooling on yourself.”

And, we’re out of time.

-Julie Kanfer