Thanks For Getting Dressed, Craig

Something seemed different to Craig Crawford this morning, as he appeared with the I-Man via satellite from Washington, DC instead of over the phone.

“It feels kind of weird doing this show with my clothes on,” said the Congressional Quarterly contributor, allowing that he usually, at the very least, throws on a bathrobe before dialing in.

Crawford’s parents are big I-Fans, and were sorely disappointed that their alma mater, the University of Kentucky, lost to West Virginia in the NCAA tournament on Saturday. Now residing in Orlando, Mama Crawford, a former K-mart employee, is still holding a grudge against the Super Wal-Mart that opened in town a few years ago, refusing to fill drug prescriptions there even though they cost just four dollars.

“What kind of drugs?” Imus wondered.

A hillbilly at heart, Crawford, who has been in a committed relationship with a man for more than 20 years, believes he’s in love with Fox’s Dagen McDowell. “She could turn me,” he confessed. You’re probably not alone there, Craig.

On to more serious matters, Crawford had a new issue for Imus to take on: credit scammers targeting military families.  

“These soldiers are young, they’re getting their first steady paycheck, they’re vulnerable to easy credit from some of these scammers,” said Crawford. “Even some of the more experienced families are targeted because they’re under such pressure paying their bills.”

Built into Sen. Chris Dodd’s financial regulation reform bill is a consumer protection agency that would defend Americans from these sorts of heists. The White House is smartly, in Crawford’s view, framing those who oppose the bill as not supporting the troops.   

Speaking of the White House, President Obama popped up in Afghanistan over the weekend to address U.S. troops there and meet with President Hamid Karzai, whose clothing and behavior remain troubling to Imus.

“The red flag went up the first time I saw him,” Imus said of Karzai’s snazzy hats and cloaks. “This dude should have a bandolier, and be holding a rifle, wearing some fatigues. Not dressed up like Elton John’s date.”

Crawford thinks the U.S. would be better off pulling back the troops altogether, and bribing tribal leaders in Afghanistan to deal with Al-Qaeda and the Taliban. But Imus was stuck on the wardrobe issue.  

“You look good with your clothes on,” he told his guest, who was still enjoying “that nice fresh feel” from the makeup spray gun until Imus warned him, “It never comes off.”

-Julie Kanfer