A Morning of Apologies With Chris Wallace

Once again, Imus began an interview with an apology to Chris Wallace for not getting him on at the appointed time of 7:30, admitting it was unprofessional.

"Being on your show reminds me of going to the dentist to get a route canal," Wallace began. "Because you always keep me waiting about ten minutes."

Memo to Chris Wallace: that's not the only way this show is like a route canal.

Wallace, host of "Fox News Sunday," called the recent string of Toyota recalls "a mess," and said the story is probably not as clean as the Japanese car company would have everyone believe.

"You just know somewhere, buried in the files of Toyota, is a memo from one engineer to another saying, a couple of years ago, 'We've got a heck of a problem here,'" Wallace surmised.

In that way, Imus observed, Toyota bears striking resemblance to Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Tiger Woods, and others. "Their initial instinct is to lie to try to get out of this stuff," he said. "They'd have been fine if they just addressed the issue."

Kind of like President Obama did when deciding to change the venue of the 9/11 terrorists' trials from downtown Manhattan to an as-yet-undetermined location.

"You did not have to be a fortune teller to see it was going to be a huge mess, and a big practical and political liability," said Wallace.

White House Chief-of-Staff Rahm Emanuel has proven to be a liability himself lately; the Wall Street Journal reported that at a closed-door meeting in August, he called some liberal Democrats "f-ing retards."

Developmentally disabled people have ownership of the word "retard," Wallace said, like African-Americans have ownership of the N-word. "They can decide if it's allowable, or not allowable," he said.

Emanuel should apologize and make amends, but by no means should he be fired, observed Wallace, who could soon be forced to issue an apology to the person calling for Emanuel's dismissal in the first place.

"We are going to have the first Sunday show interview ever with Sarah Palin," he boasted. "We're going to be down in Nashville with her at the National Tea Party convention, and I'm excited."

As for whether she'll converse with Wallace while sitting on his lap, Wallace said, "One can only hope."

-Julie Kanfer