Bo Dietl Went to a Football Game, Cried, and Put Some Lovin' on Gov. Chris Christie

A forlorn Bo Dietl insisted today that he is not, as this website may or may not have joked, a “Monday morning moron.”

“I didn’t write it,” Imus quickly said, and wasted no time spelling out the name of the person who did. However, he asked Bo, “Everybody makes fun of me, but they can’t make fun of you?”
 
Further proving he is a “pansy,” as Imus put it, Bo described why attending a Navy vs. Notre Dame college football game on Saturday was such an emotional experience for him.
 
“You walk in there, and 4,000 Annapolis troops come marching in, Don,” he said. “And then on the field, they line up in companies. All of a sudden, they have a flyover of two guys who just came back from Afghanistan last week. Then they start singing the Blue and the Gold song.”
 
In the end, Navy beat Notre Dame by a score of 35-17, but the real winners were Bo’s tear ducts, which were in overdrive. “Thirty percent of Annapolis grads fight to become United States Marine Commissioned Officers,” he told Imus. “That means they’re going to be the guys who are going to be the first line of our defense…I had tears in my eyes through the whole day.”
 
Between this disgusting display of emotion and his earlier wussy-ness over being called a moron, Imus’s advice to Bo was the same he offered Juan Williams on Friday: “Man up.”
 
Also in attendance at the Navy-Notre Dame game, which was held at the New Meadowlands Stadium in New Jersey, was that state’s Governor, I-Fave Chris Christie. Though he has maintained to Imus and others that he will not run for President in 2012, Bo believes otherwise.

“Hands down, he will be drafted,” Bo said, and contended that nobody else could lead the country out of the debacle that “what’s his name—Osama Bin Laden?—our President” got us into.

Explaining that it’s not helpful when Bo hates on President Obama, Imus finally saw the light, declaring, “You are a moron.”

-Julie Kanfer

Editor’s note: This essay would have been longer, but my mind’s still a little foggy from all those fumes I inhaled under the bus