Alan Colmes: Fake Liberal? Hannity Basher? Imus Tries to Find Out!

After bitching all morning about the absurdity of Alan Colmes’s five favorite songs, Imus then accused his guest, a Fox News contributor and the former co-host of Hannity & Colmes, of being a Liberal because it would help him forge a career.

“Yeah, right,” Colmes said. “I’m really a right-winger, but let me see if I can fake being a Liberal for about 20 years.”

Sensing sarcasm, Imus wondered why Colmes felt the need to be so snarky toward a man battling cancer. “I think you’re doing quite well, and that’s why I feel you can handle it,” Colmes said. “It’s making you stronger.”

If that’s the case, maybe Colmes should try some of his sarcasm on President Obama, who could use a jolt right now. “I like him better than the alternative,” Colmes said, hardly a ringing endorsement.

Seeking to inject some animosity into the conversation, Imus was about to reference something Sean Hannity has said about Obama, when Colmes cut him off. “I love Sean, we worked together and he does a great job at what he does. But I don’t know that he is the best articulator of the President’s philosophy.”

But all Imus heard was, “I love Sean,” a statement he finds completely fraudulent. “You had this program together for ten or 12 years, and suddenly one day he announces you’re no longer on it, and you’re telling me you still love him?” Imus said.

But Colmes was unwilling to (or legally prohibited from) throwing Hannity under the bus, and so he told Imus that Pete Rouse, Rahm Emanuel’s replacement as White House Chief-of-Staff, knows the Senate well, and will be able to help Obama in that regard. That doesn’t mean Emanuel’s congressional prowess won’t be missed.

“Obama was able to get a lot of his agenda through in the first 18 months,” Colmes said. “He did a lot of big things, and you’ve got to give Emanuel credit for that.”

Pressed to name some of those “big things,” Colmes cited the economic stimulus plan, and the health care bill, both of which Imus criticized. Not knowing what else to do, Colmes instinctively blamed George W. Bush, and then yelled at Imus, who threatened to, along with Charles, beat the hell out of Colmes.

“Then we’ll see how good the health care plan is,” Colmes smirked.

Sick of talking politics, Imus turned to sports, which was not his best laid plan. “I know absolutely nothing about sports,” Colmes said. Mystified, Imus wondered what his guest therefore does on Sundays. “I read books. I take a nap. I go to a movie.”

Frustrated and tired from all the verbal sparring, Imus declared, “You really are a weird dude.”

-Julie Kanfer