Imus Explains Certain Things To Carl Cameron

Carl Cameron, the Fox News chief political correspondent, told Imus today that even Republican Scott Brown's own campaign was stunned by his victory over Democrat Martha Coakley in yesterday's election to fill Ted Kennedy's senate seat.

Imus, however, was experiencing a different sort of emotion.

"I was sick that I wasn't able to latch on to and jump on this Brown bandwagon soon enough," said the notorious frontrunner, who "dragged the fat boy over the finish line" in New Jersey. "I didn't get down with Brown until it was way too late," Imus lamented.

But Cameron said Brown's win was even more shocking than that of Republican Chris Christie over Democrat Jon Corzine in New Jersey last November.

"This is way bigger," said Cameron, no stranger to the hyperbole often employed by cable television reporters. "This is the kind of stuff where, historically speaking, it is really hard to exaggerate it."

He suspected that the people of Massachusetts were fed up with the old guard of Democratic control in their state, but that Brown's win was by no means a right-wing decree.

"They took a hard turn to the middle last night, not to the right," he said of Massachusetts voters, traditionally a liberal bunch. "[Brown] wasn't running as a Conservative, he was running as an independent, different kind of Republican. And it was the Independent vote that put him over the top."

Brown, a very popular state senator in Massachusetts, is also a military veteran and "an all around guy," according to Cameron. Yet one particular aspect of Brown's biography stood out to the I-Man: Brown posed nude for a spread in Cosmo Magazine in 1982, when he won their "America's Sexiest Man" contest.

"It has been my experience," Imus began. "That when a person takes one nude picture, they've probably taken others."

Cameron avoided responding to Imus's inanity, and focused instead on how Brown will be perceived once he arrives in Washington, DC.

"Resting on his shoulders is the mantle of the dragon-slayer — he killed the Democratic majority!" said Cameron. "He'll be the hottest ticket, the biggest interview in DC, in politics, and in the country for a while."

Brown, he added, is the kind of guy most people want to grab a beer with.

"That's where it starts, Carl," Imus cautioned. "You grab a beer with him, and the next thing you know, you got your clothes off and somebody has a camera."

-Julie Kanfer