Frank Rich's Diabolical Scheme Does Not Scare the I-Man

An uncooperative Frank Rich had refused to provide Imus with his five favorite songs, and then nearly had a fit about it on live radio and television today.

"In most of my life, I'm fairly decisive," he said. "But I almost had a breakdown with the five favorite books with you, too. What's next? Five favorite horses?"

We'd settle for his five favorite scummy politicians, but that's just too easy.

Today's big political story is the race to fill Ted Kennedy's Senate seat in Massachusetts. Voters there head to the polls today to decide what many predict will be a stunning victory for the Republican Scott Brown over the Democrat Martha Coakley.

"If we find out tonight the Democrats have lost that seat, it is an utter fiasco for the Democrats, and certainly a wakeup call," said Rich, a New York Times Op-Ed columnist.

Though Coakley has been deemed ineffectual, Rich believes a Democratic loss could also be blamed on President Obama's push for health care reform over this past year.

"Whatever one thinks of the bill, if you can't get it through...it looks like wasted time," he said. And the President's inability (or reluctance) to state exactly what he wanted to see in the health care bill has registered as "blurry leadership."

"It also didn't give people something to rally around, for those who wanted to rally around it," Rich said. "Meanwhile, it's very easy to rally around: all big government stinks, Washington stinks, any federally mandated plan stinks."

Obama, like every other President, has had to compromise campaign promises due to the combined forces of lobbyists, big money, and special interests. "But I think he could have been, in some ways, more effective," said Rich. "And I think a bit more daring."

The most important thing right now is the economy, and with unemployment at ten percent or higher, Obama can ill afford to remain stagnant on the issue of jobs.

"It's not enough to say, 'I stabilized the banks,'" said Rich.

That Obama's poll numbers have fallen precipitously since his inauguration last year is no shock, said Rich, adding that it would have been impossible for him to live up to the hype during what was "an incredible feel good moment for America."

Another feel good moment might come on this show during Rich's next appearance, when he'll hopefully get his act together and give us some favorite songs. He then revealed his evil plan to embarrass us by selecting entire symphonies.

"Nothing will embarrass this show," Imus declared.

Well, not nothing.

-Julie Kanfer