Imus — Not Alan Colmes — Is A Man of the People

How deep is Alan Colmes's love for Imus? Based on today's appearance, it's a puddle, at best. After enduring ridicule from Imus for choosing the aforementioned Bee Gees song as one of his favorites, Colmes took his frustration out on Tiger Woods.

"Wouldn't it be a little easier for women who did not sleep with Tiger to come forward?" he asked. At last count, the number of side dishes is up to ten, but Colmes predicted more to come, saying, "This can't be good for him or for his image."

Besides losing endorsement deals, Imus observed that Woods would lose the support of people pulling for him to beat records set by golfers Jack Nicklaus and Ben Hogan.

"And Wilt Chamberlain," Charles offered. "In conquests."

Colmes, who still works for Fox News in a capacity that remains unclear, strongly disagrees with President Obama's decision to send 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan.

"I was very disappointed that this guy who was elected as an anti-war President has decided that now we're going to escalate a war in Afghanistan," said Colmes.

He's also uncomfortable with the malleable timeline Obama put forth. "First he says 18 months, then he says we'll start to get out in 18 months," said Colmes.

Imus hoped his guest wasn't surprised that the guy he "slobbered over" during the campaign turned out to be "a bigger phony and less competent than Jimmy Carter."

"I can disagree on one issue, that doesn't mean he's a total phony and hasn't done one thing right," Colmes shot back. "He's got a 22-month timeline to get us out of Iraq, he's promoting health care..."

At which point Imus jumped in, challenging Colmes to tell him how many troops are still in Iraq. Colmes did not know, so Imus saw fit to scream, "There are 130,000 troops in Iraq! I know how many there are!" like a four-year old.

As Colmes went on that Obama is forming better relationships internationally and promoting climate change reform, Imus, again, butted in.

"He's a very nice guy," he said about Obama. "He's a loser."

Colmes insisted Obama's done some good, given the turnaround in the economy.

"It's not turning around in the real world, Alan," said the oh-so-grounded Imus. "I'm a man of the people. You're running around in a private jet and a limo."

Wait, what?

-Julie Kanfer