Matt Taibbi Can Be Hilarious And Negative About Professional Sports, Too

Matt Taibbi stopped by today to chat with Imus about over-commercialization in sports. But why waste an opportunity to crack jokes on Andre Agassi's weave, demean the city of Cleveland, and explain where Brett Favre should go?

Taibbi's most recent article for Men's Journal magazine focused on what he called a "phenomenon" in sports advertising.

"The economy is so bad now that they're trying so desperately to rescue profits in the sports business," he said. "They've really gone too far, and really sucked the life out of the sports-watching process."

The Men's Journal in which Taibbi's piece appears has Tim McGraw on the cover. Imus surmised McGraw got there by revealing things about himself that nobody wants to know, kind of like tennis great Andre Agassi does in his forthcoming book Open.

Familiar with Agassi's revelations, Taibbi said, "He talks about how meth is really, really great. He kind of re-sold me on the experience." He did not, however, sell Taibbi on the idea of wearing a wig, which Agassi also confessed to doing in the early 1990s.

Martina Navratilova wants Agassi to give back his Grand Slam trophies because of his drug use (not, as Taibbi thought, because of the rug), but Imus noted that meth was more likely to make Agassi want to clean the entire stadium than to enhance his tennis skills.

The Cleveland Browns, however, could use something to improve their performance, as they have gone just 1-7 this season. Taibbi has a football column in Rolling Stone magazine, and compared Browns Coach Eric Mangini to the greedy fat kid who falls in the chocolate river in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, based on both appearance and on some stupid stuff he's done, like fining players for bottles of water.

He further maligned the city of Cleveland by comparing it to Buffalo, New York, in that no successful person from either city ever succeeds until they go somewhere else. Taibbi then turned his wrath on Brett Favre, the 39 year-old Minnesota Vikings quarterback.

"I called for Brett Favre to be chained to a rock in the middle of the ocean so that he could have his liver pecked at by sea birds for the rest of eternity," Taibbi said with pride.

Perhaps Taibbi is so critical of professional athletes because he used to be one. He played professional baseball in Russia, and professional basketball in Mongolia, until he got pneumonia, almost died, and had to leave the country. Which worked to our advantage, really, because he's rapidly become one of Imus's favorite journalists.

"You're willing to say awful things about people, and you're willing to call them awful things," Imus complimented Taibbi. "You're a great writer, and you're willing to resort to physical humor. And that appeals to me, and my 11 year-old son."

Sounds about right.

-Julie Kanfer