From the Green Room: The Tan Tax
Tuesday, July 13, 2010 
SnookiAs if President Obama’s Health Care Plan didn’t have enough detractors, you can add two more, high profile names to the list: “Snooki” and “The Situation”.
The Prince and Princess of Guido Royalty, the breakout stars of MTV’s mega-hit “Jersey Shore, and two of the most egregious examples of “celebrities” who are WAY past their Andy Warhol 15 minutes do not support the plan because of one of the tariffs imposed within: a ten percent tax on tanning booths.
For those of you who have spent the last 16 months in a cave with mushrooms and are thus unaware of who these two “personalities” are, Snooki is the somewhat ‘Rubenesque’ (read: busty and fat) young woman whose hair bump is second only the one stuffed in her short shorts, and who professed to Meghan McCain that her role model was Tori Spelling, Mother Teresa of the Vapid. “The Situation” is the young man who 
The "Situation"eschews Mensa meetings in favor of trips to the gym, yet is the quintessential American Success story. He went from being an exotic dancer to a clothing designer, an author, a hip hop artist, and a household name merely by parlaying his abs into a cottage industry.
It makes sense that these two mouth-breathing morons’ opinions would be sought on the hot button topic, given its place of reverence in their daily lives. Tanning is the cornerstone of “The Situation’s” philosophy of life (Gym, Tanning & Laundry), and Snooki sports a year-round bronze hue second only to that of Pat O’Brien’s Tang glow.
The most disturbing thing is that their take was actually solicited in the first place. Given the train-wreck aspect of “Jersey Shore,” it’s not surprising that these two have become pop culture icons, but why they have been elevated to political pundit status is mind-boggling. Next thing you know, the brain trust at the Army Corps of Engineers will be tapping their expertise to come up with a solution to cap the BP oil well.
Even with their considerable media clout, it’s doubtful that the Dynamic D-Bag Duo will mount a grassroots 
Ronni, another genius from "Jersey Shore"movement strong enough to defeat the 10% Tan Tax. They might, however, just have something to offer to help end the disaster in the gulf.
The surest way to get rid of the oil? That’s easy.
Fist pump.
