From the Green Room: A Not-So-Anonymous Gambler
Today we head up to the amazing Mohegan Sun Casino and Resort for the 2nd Annual “Imus at Night” event. We’ve done many live remotes from the Wolf Den there and believe me, it’s not an example of Imus hyperbole when he describes how fabulous that place is. It’s like a beautiful, hyperkinetic planet, with what seems like 10,000 shops and restaurants and about 90 square miles of table games slot machines. It’s like Adult Disney World. You’d think Gangsta Mickey would fit right in here, except his low-rent, low-rider sensibilities are really more suited to the ten-dollar hooker, nickel video poker, and urine-stained carpets of Atlantic City. Mohegan is the gold standard. If all the hotel casinos in Vegas were like Mohegan Sun, Las Vegas would be so busy it would have to secede from the union and become its own country.
One of the myriad great things about Mohegan Sun is there’s so much to see and do even if you don’t gamble. Which I don’t do very well. I still haven’t grasped the concept that, in Blackjack, having the most points isn’t always a good thing. I regularly hit on 20, a strategy that, while making me a very popular face at the table, runs through my bankroll at an alarmingly fast rate. I have a hard time grasping the concept that my 30 does not beat the dealer’s 19, when mathematically that is the case
I’m not much better at Roulette, where my system involves putting a chip down on every single number, including the 00, which insures a win on every spin but also blows through my stash in no time.
I’d be in favor of adding some new card games to go along with Pai Gow, Caribbean Poker, and Texas Hold ‘Em: Five dollar Go Fish, ten dollar Gin Rummy, and no-limit Steal the Old Man’s Bundle.
I guess I have to get used to the idea that, despite being Allman Brothers fan, Lord, I was not born a Gambling Man. A fact which seems pretty clear when you consider that my Final Four was Vassar, Nassau Community College, The Culinary Institute of America, and Apex Technical School.