From the Green Room: Paula Deen's Passover Suprise

Hey Y’all!  Passover’s here, and why is this night different from every other night?  Pork chops.  Here’s my traife safe, bacon and shrimp stuffed delights that will put the curl back in your payis…and the best part is, you won’t get shpilkes trying to make ‘em cos’ they’re as easy as can be!

Take three dozen jumbo shrimp, tails on, roll ‘em in a bissel shtickle of matzoh meal, kosher salt, and crushed pork rinds, deep fry them for forty five minutes, drain ‘em, then put ‘em in a food processor and whip them into a fine paste.  Throw that into a bowl and mix in three cups of Cheetos, four pounds of crisp, crumbled bacon, three 24 ounce jars of pitted olives, 47 sticks of buddah, and a six pack of room temperature Diet Sprite.  Take eight, four inch thick, boneless pork chops, and re-bone ‘em with a ham hock, then, with a bricklayers trowel, lay in a good two or three cups of the shrimp-bacon-olive-Cheeto-Diet Sprite stuffing into each chop, and glaze ‘em with a Manischewitz wine reduction. Stick ‘em under a broiler, about a minute each side, cos’ you want your pork to be rare and a little runny.

Your family will plotz when they bite into these little piggy pouches of shrimpy, bacony, goodness.  Serve ‘em with a little homemade gefilte fish, made with some chopped anchovies and shredded coffee filters.

After the break: my Easter Jesus Loaf and Fishes Knishes.  Baruch atau adenoy elloohainu y’all! Have a zissen Pesach!