June 23: Bad Planes, Bad Charities, and MSNBC Working With White House???

• MSNBC Program Participant Admits Incestuous White House Relationship: “Morning Joe” program co-host, Mika Brzezinski, let’s slip that she is “working with the White House” on oil spill debacle “talking points.” Repellent television presence says she has “file that I’ve been working on with the White House and I’ll be very transparent about that.”  Transparency admirable but unnecessary, Mika. We kind’a already knew.
• “Islamic smack-down.” Iranian morality cops issue warning to 62,000 – that’s right, 62-thousand - “badly veiled” women that they better get their frikkin’ outfits squared away as part of a summer-time clampdown on dress and behavior. Gotta be covered head to toe with hair completely veiled, doggone it, or else. Let’s limber up the lash, whaddaya say? Onward to modernity, dammit!
• Charity Watch: Just give a few bucks to the Imus Ranch for Kids with Cancer and move on, okay? Particularly in view of today’s charity headline: “Planned Parenthood Missing Millions.” Great. Government Accountability Office says Planned Parenthood spent just $657-million between 2002 and 2008, but took in $2.3 Billion during the same time period from government grants and programs; or, stated another way, from your contributions and tax dollars. So where the heck did a billion 703 million go?? All together now… “Uh-oh.” 
• “First the choir boys, now the choir funds!” Hartford, Connecticut Archdiocese asks police for help after investigation reveals priest, Father Kevin Gray, may have “rendered unto Caesar” – and that would be Father Gray himself  – more than a million dollars from his parish over several years.  Archdiocese says it discovered the missing dough during a routine financial review.  Father Gray?  Also…“missing.”  And you may now slap your forehead in ecclesiastical astonishment.
• “This is your captain speaking…  We will be flying at either 34-thousand feet or six feet under.  Depends.”  FAA inspection of American Airlines fleet finds structural cracks in three 767 wide-bodies.  One aircraft described as so unstable that it was about to shed an engine. FAA is on the case, though. Working “to find the cause of the cracks” and also considering some new rules and regs and stuff. Meantime, agency may rescind carry-on ban of more than 3-ounces of Krazy Glue.
• Good bye, good-lookin’. Obama administration’s budget director, Peter Orszag, has had it. Becomes first Obama cabinet member to bail. Orszag expected to join a think tank. Orszag “rug” expected to join next BP attempt to plug Gulf oil leak.
• “Play dead, Rags…Rags?”  Natural Balance Pet Foods recalling five pound and 28 pound bags of “Sweet Potato & Chicken” dry dog food.  Company says random sample of the food by the FDA tested positive for salmonella. “You can get up and go chase the stick now, Rags. Rags? Okay, maybe not.”
• “Go Forth and Multiply.  Exponentially.” Baktawng, India villager, 66-years-old, living la vida loco: Believed to have the world’s largest single family living under one roof – 162 – including 38 wives, 94 children and 30 grandchildren. Under one roof. All of them. 162. “Need the john? Take a number.”   Dear god.