June 2: Eric Holder to the Rescue; Hurricane Season; and Happy Anniversary, CNN!

• World Health Organization: “Swine Flu Still Constitutes Worldwide Pandemic.”   Which is why roughly 70-million doses of swine flu sit unused or expired in clinics, doctor’s offices, and warehouses across the United States…and will have to be thrown out unless researchers discover that the vaccine compound breaks up oil.
• Cleveland County, Oklahoma Prison Inmates Humiliated:  Authorities change familiar, “manly” orange inmate jumpsuits for “hot pink shirts” and “yellow-and-white striped pants.”  Critics:   What is this a jail, or a damn Elton John concert?
• Finally, Obama administration gets serious about Gulf of Mexico oil catastrophe:  President sends Attorney General Eric Holder down to take a look.  A.G. expected to be able to apply about as much expertise to BP crisis as he did in determining 9-11 terror figures should be tried in New York City.  Jeezis… 
• Hurricane season, 2010, underway:  Government forecasters at National Hurricane Center hold moistened finger in air, draw circle on ground, sprinkle chicken bones in north-south pattern, turn around three times, shake marimbas, clap hands twice, throw salt over left shoulder, eat toad, click heels together and predict eight major hurricanes for Atlantic basin.
• “U.S. Safety Regulators Find New Way to Bankrupt Consumer.”  Nanny government pushes for expensive upgrades to automotive “black box” that records speed and other data in the seconds before everybody is turned into pizza sauce in grinding auto crash.  “Improvements” would make the recorders fire and waterproof and push their cost to 5-thousand dollars…while putting regulators on a par with Osama Bin Laden among Americans seeking revenge. 
• Pelosi Finds Religion:  Says Bible and “The Word made flesh” drive her public policy pursuits.  Including, critics ask, such issues as legalized abortion? …Or the $2.1 million for V.I.P. Air Force jet travel, 2008-09, including $101,000 in-flight “food and booze” tab handed off to taxpayers?  What the heck was “the word,” bacchanal?
• Cable News Network Observes 30 Year Anniversary:  Posts timeline on CNN website of significant stories network has covered since June of 1980 – from John Lennon’s murder, December 8th of that year to Challenger explosion, 1986, to Tiananmen Square pro-democracy demonstrations, 1989.  Fails to mention disappearance of fully half of CNN’s audience, March, 2010, because network’s coverage mirrors Pravda.
• “Port Richey, Florida Man Throws Mom under the Beer Truck.”  Calls 911, repeatedly, to complain that his mother had taken his beer away and he wanted her arrested and by god would continue to call 911 until she was, dammit.  Police went to 32-year-old Charles Dennison’s house and made the arrest.  Of him.  Not her.  Charged with making “false 911” calls.   Okay, fine…  But where’s the freakin’ beer?