Kinky Friedman's Up on Rick Perry, Down on Obama

Phoning in from out in “Holly-woooooood,” Kinky Friedman, who may or may not be writing a book for or with Billy Bob Thornton, has been very busy, he told Imus, “placing the hyphen between anal and retentive.”
 
Unfortunately, Imus didn’t really get that joke. “You haven’t understood anything I’ve said for many years,” Kinky replied. “But you and I are still incapable of resisting each other’s charms.”
 
Kinky was also incapable of resisting the charms of the late Fred Imus, whose passing he lamented this morning. “Fred was one of the last great nails in America that hadn’t been hammered down,” he said. “There ain’t very many of those guys, and it’s always a loss.”
 
Come to think of it, life is an accumulation of losses, in Kinky’s view. “But he is safe, and sheltered from sorrow,” Kinky continued. “So, we mourn for ourselves, Imus.”
 
Besides being a philosopher of sorts, and an author, and a musician, Kinky, a native Texan, also ran for Governor of Texas back in 2006 against Rick Perry, to whom he lost. Since declaring his candidacy for president in 2012 just a few days ago, Perry, a Republican, has garnered a great deal attention, most of it deserving, according to Kinky.
 
“He’s, I think, a pretty good man,” he admitted, much to Imus’s surprise. “After Obama I think we can see that sometimes greatness comes from where you least expect it in politics.”
 
For instance, Winston Churchill, who had been “washed up politically for 40 years,” Kiny said, “before they realized he was the one indispensible man in Western civilization that could save the world. And he did.”
 
Despite sometimes being portrayed as such, Kinky told Imus Perry’s no whack job. “Frankly, anybody can come up with a better policy than chasing a madman around the deserts of Libya,” he said, referring to Obama’s unsuccessful attempts to oust Gaddafi.
 
What’s more, Perry, who has been Governor of Texas since 2000, has actually created jobs in his state, as opposed to almost every other state in the country. “My pal Paul Begala was mentioning that no self-respecting Mexican would sneak across the border to take one of those jobs,” Kinky said. “But whether that’s true or not, Texas is in great shape financially compared to California, or Michigan, or anywhere else.”
 
Kinky’s main gripe about the President is that he never seems to know what he believes. “The one thing about Obama you can always say is that he’s perpetually behind the curve,” he said. “This guy will not take an unpopular or courageous stand.”
 
Though Imus was unwilling to try Kinky’s new brand of tequila, he was more than happy to consider jumping on the Perry bandwagon. “He’s a man who loves you, and me, and the gays, and everybody else,” Kinky assured his friend. “Not that I’m suggesting you and I are gay.”
 
Thanks for clearing that up.
 
-Julie Kanfer