Rep. Darrell Issa Feels Comfortable with Imus, Usually a Sign of Impending Doom

Imus apologized for getting Rep. Darrell Issa on late this morning, but it wasn’t enough for the Republican from California, who was listening when, moments before, Imus made known his ambivalence about the appearance altogether.
 
“I know I’ve been back too often when you say, ‘He can come, he can not come, he can stay, he can go,’” Issa said. “So, nice to see you. Sort of.”
 
But Imus’s apathy had nothing to do with Issa, per se. “I like you,” he told his guest. It’s just that the news is very depressing, “and I always think you guys are jerking our chain.”
 
This time around, the chain-jerking in question is over the debt ceiling deal, which Imus believes will be resolved just ahead of next Tuesday’s deadline. Issa, however, insisted the deadline itself is basically moot.
 
“President Obama said he won’t sign a short-term deal,” Issa said. “The fact is he signed a funding through September months ago.”
 
The question in Washington, then, as Issa sees it, is whether Republicans are actually serious about cutting spending this year. “Because all the rest—there are all kinds of pejoratives—but it’s just crap,” he said.
 
In Issa’s opinion, long-term deficit reduction goals mean little to the American people when lawmakers can’t even agree on how to cut spending right now. “We would like to have spending cuts this year, and, frankly, no tax increases,” Issa said of the Republicans. “Because tax increases always happen. Spending cuts usually don’t.”
 
Should the credit rating agency Moody’s downgrade U.S. debt from a triple-A rating to something much less desirable, Issa, for one, believes the country deserves it. “We’re collecting virtually as much money as a percentage of the economy in Washington as we ever did—we’re simply spending 30, 40, 50 percent more than we should,” Issa said. “And until we stop spending more, we should be downgraded if we can’t make that change, Don.”
 
At the mention of his name, Imus’s ears perked up. “You sound a lot more sensible when you call me ‘Don,’” he remarked. “As opposed to Senator Kerry—when he was running for President, he would call me ‘The I-Man,’ which made him sound like an idiot.”
 
Hoping to remain in “Don’s” good graces, Issa further stated his belief that there is no conspiracy between Obama, Moody’s and the Tea Party to scare the hell out of everyone. “Don, the reality is if America can in fact pay its bills, it’s triple-A,” Issa said. “And if we can’t pay our bills, it doesn’t matter what rating they give us.”
 
On second thought, “Calling me ‘Don’ is a little familiar,” Imus told Issa. “I don’t know you all that well.”
 
-Julie Kanfer