Imogen & Bernard Agree on This Much: Don't Mess with Oprah
Bernard McGuirk and Imogen Lloyd Webber sat in the Fox studio today to debate the “ishis,” as Imus put it, but it turns out Imogen had debated whether to show up at all.
“I’m a bit frightened today because it’s Friday the 13th,” she said. “So what am I doing with Bernard and you? I’m terrified. I almost didn’t get out of bed this morning.”
Luckily, she found her way, and reported that being in London to cover the royal wedding a few weeks ago was an amazing experience. “For once, I got to be proud to be British,” she said. “Which doesn’t happen often anymore.”
She should also be proud that she’s not supporting Newt Gingrich, who announced yesterday that he’ll run for President in 2012. “He’s going to run against the cool, young President who just killed Osama Bin Laden?” Bernard, a Republican, said. “I don’t care how smart he sounds, he looks like some bitter, southern community college professor.”
In Bernard’s view, Gingrich is running because he wants to sell books; garner speaking fees; and “put his big, fat face out there.” He added, sullenly, “Guys like that are going to drag the whole Party down.”
And in the opinion of many, releasing photos of a dead Bin Laden would bring the country down. “There is no need now to give radical Islam the anti-America, anti-imperialist, PR card,” Imogen said, adding that Obama, in a big speech he’ll give in Europe next week, needs to lay it out to Muslims as follows: “You can have the old way, the Bin Laden way, or you can move forward toward the Arab Spring.”
Though Bernard would like to plaster Times Square with images of Bin Laden’s corpse, he noted the danger it poses to troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. “We have to be considerate about what the reaction will be with our guys in harm’s way,” he said.
This accord between Bernard and Imogen was short-lived, as Imus moved on to the subject of enhanced interrogation methods (read: torture) and whether Bin Laden’s death is proof that they work.
“I think it’s very mixed,” said Imogen, who, at Cambridge, specialized in the impact of intelligence agencies. She commended the Bush administration with 2005’s Operation Cannonball, which put more intelligence workers on the ground in Pakistan and Afghanistan. “They, in turn, got more information, which could be fed back to the technical intelligence guys at the NSA.” As she sees it, that’s how the U.S. got Osama.
But Bernard insisted that enhanced interrogation methods, like waterboarding and sleep depravation, work over an extended period of time. “The waterboarding breaks their spirit,” he explained. As time passes and the accused terrorists become more fearful of the waterboarding, they eventually fess up.
Imogen remained appalled, and Bernard tried to convince her by saying, “If your mother was kidnapped and somebody said, ‘If we torture this guy, it will lead to your mother,’ you’d say, ‘Yeah, let’s do it.’”
She insisted otherwise, to the extent that Imus become upset about all the arguing, which was entirely his fault in the first place. “If you came up with a fluffier topic, we wouldn’t argue,” Imogen said, as only a British person can.
Seeking to restore harmony, Imus turned to Oprah Winfrey, whose long-running daytime talk show will air its final episode on May 25. Bernard and Imogen agreed they’ll miss Oprah, but Bernard took it one step further and accused her show of exposing children to “filth” under the guise of trying to be helpful.
“I wouldn’t hate on Oprah,” Imogen cautioned her sparring partner. “She’s far too powerful.”
-Julie Kanfer
Reader Comments (1)
This is what doctor peek a boo missed in Imus!!!!!!!!!!!!
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