Paul Begala on Libya, Plastic Surgery, and Animal Sex?

Anybody fortunate enough to sit beside Paul Begala on a plane will be informed thusly when they ask what he does: “I teach at Georgetown University; I work at CNN, the most trusted name in news; and I go around and give speeches and write books.”
 
In his past life, Begala was a top advisor to President Bill Clinton, and even though he’s a liberal weenie, he’s got great respect for Senator John McCain for putting his life on the line for this country. However, Begala took issue with McCain saying yesterday that the Obama administration should implement a no-fly zone in Libya, where the imperiled leader Muammar Gaddafi has been the killing innocent civilians rising up against him.
 
“I don’t think one more war is a good idea for America right now,” Begala said. “Where you have a no-fly zone, the first thing you have to do is shoot. The first thing you have to do is bomb the country to take out their anti-aircraft artillery. Do we really need to be bombing another Arab country?”
 
What’s more, allies of the U.S. would have to support the plan. “I’d rather just keep tightening the noose the way we’re doing,” Begala said, noting how much easier Egypt’s change of government seems by comparison. “We send billions a year to Libya, but we do it in oil profits, not in direct U.S. aid. So we had terrific leverage with the Egyptians, and it’s why, I think Mubarak finally left office.”
 
Gaddafi, on the other hand, is “a complete animal,” who Begala said would “do anything” and “kill anyone.” And there is, of course, no indication that whoever or whatever replaces Gaddafi will be any better. But maybe they’d have a better doctor.
 
“Gaddafi has the same plastic surgeon as Bruce Jenner,” Imus declared, then told a story about someone else with an unfortunate face.
 
A few years back, following an appearance on Larry King Live (CNN was going for the youth demographic that night, Begala noted), Imus was leaving the studio when a man yelled out to him, “Hey, Don!” from across the street. “I had no idea who it was,” Imus recalled. “It was Kenny Rogers.”
 
Who, for the record, would have aged gracefully without multiple facelifts, as Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, and Jeff Bridges all have. Nope, nothing weird about this conversation.
 
The federal government avoided a shutdown this week, but Republicans and Democrats can’t seem to agree on where and how to make cuts to the budget. Having been down this road before, Begala compared the country’s financial woes to those of a family.
 
“When your family hits tough times, what’s the first thing you do?” he said. “The first thing you do is not pull the kid out of school, and kick grandma out of the nursing home, particularly if you look at the books and you realize your family has been subsidizing your rich Uncle Rex, who’s an oil company CEO.”
 
Meaning, essentially, that the U.S. government has been giving breaks to oil companies, while at the same time cutting programs for education and cancer research. “The deficit was caused by tax cuts for the wealthy and special interests, like oil companies,” Begala said. “They ought to pay their fair share first. That’s the idea of shared sacrifice.”
 
Certain Republicans, like former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and former Senator Rick Santorum, are less focused on the budget, and more concerned with taking on President Obama in 2012. Their decision to run, Begala explained, is not predicated on ego alone.
 
“They look around at the others and go, ‘Well if that turkey’s gonna run…’” he said.
 
Might want to steer clear of animal references around Santorum, who once intimated homosexuality leads to bestiality, and actually used the phrase “man on dog.” Which reminded Begala of an old joke from growing up in Texas: “We had to cancel both driver’s ed. and sex ed., because the mule died.”
 
-Julie Kanfer