Terry Bradshaw Got Roped, Then Got Roped Into Talking About Toes

Terry Bradshaw, the four-time Superbowl champ, is also, in Imus’s opinion, the most popular football “personage” out there. And how was this beacon of personality doing today? “I woke up this morning,” he told Imus. “That’s a great start, man.”
 
Also a bona fide cowboy of sorts, Bradshaw, now an analyst for Fox Sports, heard Imus talking earlier about his son’s interest in roping, which reminded Bradshaw of the time he was roped himself by one of his Steelers teammates on a farm outside of Pittsburgh.
 
“I’m sitting there, I’m drinking a cup of coffee, he’s out there warming this mare up, comes by me, ropes me, I don’t think anything of it,” Bradshaw said. “When he jumps off the saddle, the horse didn’t do a thing. He takes the side flap, pops it, the horse spooks and takes off.”
 
He continued, “Well, you know what happened? Jerks me off the rail, into the arena, the gate on the other end of the arena is open. Out the arena we go! I’m now fighting for my life, trying to get one hand loose to steer myself…I’m going out across this field, early in the morning, down through the creek we go, back through the creek we go. Now I think I’m dying. I chipped my tooth, chipped my elbow, bust my ribs all up, my kneecap, tore my pants off, my cowboy boots had no toes on ‘em.”
 
Eventually, the horse slowed down, and, not surprisingly, Bradshaw survived, and thank goodness for that, because otherwise Imus never would have been treated to that way too long tale of woe.
 
Moving on, Imus brought up the wardrobe selection of Fox’s NFL Sunday crew, which led to a discussion of Wrangler Jeans, a brand too stiff for Bradshaw’s liking. For now.
 
“Now, if Wrangler calls me today and says, ‘Terry, we’d like you to endorse our product,’ you’re looking at a guy that’s been wearing Wranglers for 42 years,” he said. “Brett Favre ain’t got nothing on me.”
 
Speaking of Favre, has Bradshaw ever sent a picture of his penis to anybody? “I have to send mine in two sections,” he informed Imus. “I’m a two-shot guy.”
 
Following an awkward interchange about one of Bradshaw’s ex-wives, Imus moved on to the equally uncomfortable topic of Bradshaw’s struggle to prove he’s not a moron, since Bradshaw mentioned it himself on Fox a few weeks ago. “I was surprised you said that, but I was more surprised because nobody on the planet thinks you’re stupid,” Imus said.
 
Turning serious, Bradshaw lamented he’s been battling that label his entire life. “You either fight the label, or embrace it, and then make it work for you,” he said. “So that’s what I tried to do…I’m smart where I need to be smart. People who deal with depression or ADD—where we’re interested, whatever that might be, we’re very good at it.” Except, as Imus noted, just not interested for very long.
 
Luckily, audiences have maintained their interest in Bradshaw; as Bill Carter writes in his book The War For Late Night, NBC executive Dick Ebersole deemed Bradshaw one of the greatest guests of all time on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
 
Though Imus had raised the subject to compliment Bradshaw, he soon regretted it, as his guest went on and on about his special kinship with Leno. “Fine, Terry,” Imus said begrudgingly, and finally got to the topic of this weekend’s NFL playoff games.
 
Bradshaw likes Pittsburgh, Green Bay, and New England to win this weekend, and not because he has anything against Jets Coach Rex Ryan’s foot fetish, but because “I don’t like anybody who shoots their mouth off like that.”
 
But admittedly, the whole toe-sucking thing caught him off guard. “I thought, ‘Wow. Boy. Hmm. That’s interesting.’”
 
-Julie Kanfer