Michael Graham Doesn't Hold Back. Good For Us, Not So Good For Others

Like Imus, Michael Graham of 96.9 FM in Boston is a “big fan of the big man,” New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. In fact, Graham is in favor of most people in heftier forms, including, but not limited to, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Elvis Presley.

Huckabee, Graham asserted, is “the kind of guy you want to be talking to you and licking rib juice off his fingers.” Thanks for that image.

In happier news, Graham reported that terrorist bombers in Iran “suck just as much” as those in America, referring to today’s failed attempt to explode a grenade that was tossed at Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

To remedy the string of difficulties they’ve encountered recently trying to blow stuff up, Graham predicted Al-Qaeda would soon turn to a temp agency, saying, “I’m looking for a people person who has some good skills, and can set off a detonator made with hydrogen peroxide and some fireworks. Oh, and they have to have a B.A.”

In reality, Graham, like most Americans, is still sore from the attacks of 9/11, and objects strongly to building a mosque in New York City near Ground Zero.

“This is like building a Japanese cultural center at Pearl Harbor,” he said, quoting a family member of a 9/11 victim. “Nothing against Japan, nothing against cultural centers. But everyone knows it doesn’t belong here.”

He blamed NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg for being “an utter gutless weasel” and trying to frame the debate as “you have to either be against all mosques, or you have to want to build a mosque at Ground Zero.”

Bloomberg further claimed that not building the mosque would hand a victory to the terrorists, a notion Graham took issue with. “Yeah, there’s nothing Osama Bin Laden hates more than seeing a mosque built,” he said, eyes rolling. “That drives him crazy.”

As for White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs’s claim that this was a “local dispute,” Graham had a problem with that, too. “The World Trade Center was not attacked because of a local dispute between Al-Qaeda and downtown Manhattan,” he pointed out, adding, “This was an attack against America. We were all attacked that day. If Al-Qaueda could have blown up the entire country from coast to coast, they would have.”

And if Massachusetts Senator John Kerry could have gotten away with docking his new $7 million yacht in Newport, RI to avoid paying Massachusetts taxes, he would have done that too.

“He says, ‘It’s really my wife’s yacht!’” Graham said. “Let’s face it, John, everything you own is your wife’s.”

Harsh.

-Julie Kanfer