Bo Dietl Tackles Immigration; Imus Wishes He Could Tackle Bo Dietl

Bo Dietl was all over the map this morning, from a convention in Las Vegas where he fell in love with former President Bill Clinton (“I would drink the Kool-Aid with Clinton”), to the U.S. Senate race in Connecticut, where he insisted he has no dog in the race. But first: immigration.

“We had the President of Mexico before our congressional Congress there, with the Senators and the Congressmen,” Bo reported. “I think it’s an outrage that people are stepping up, criticizing our country.”

His suggestion to solving one of the more nuanced problems facing any administration in history is to issue national registration cards so that illegal immigrants who want to work in the U.S. can do so by providing a card with their picture, name, and fingerprints.

“My problem coming through Mexico is not the Mexicans,” Bo stipulated. “My problem is the Middle Eastern people who are coming through there from Yemen, from all these countries that want to see us destroyed.”

After allowing Bo to rant uninterrupted for longer than usual, Imus finally tuned back in. “I was looking for something,” he admitted. “So I thought, well, I’ll just let him go on about nothing.”

Now that he had Imus’s full attention, Bo turned to the U.S. Senate race in Connecticut, where he advocated Imus support actual Vietnam veteran Rob Simmons, a Republican and three-term Congressman who’d like to fill the seat being vacated by Chris Dodd.

“We’re not voting for him,” Imus instructed Bo. “We’re down with Vinny, or we’re down with the wrestling lady.”

Annoyed, Bo suggested a bull that recently mauled a Spanish matador be stuck on Imus instead, at which point Imus called Bo a degenerate, and then felt badly.

“I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to my friend of 25 years, Bo Dietl, who, when he was a cop, could have arrested me for possession of cocaine, but did not,” said Imus.

Then the two sang the praises of Richard Santulli, the former CEO of NetJets, who is a big supporter of the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund, and the newly built, soon-to-be-opened National Intrepid Center of Excellence in Bethesda, Maryland.

Or, as Bo put it,  “He does his contributions on one condition: any-nom-ity.”

Which is sometimes how we wish you’d do this show.

-Julie Kanfer