Monica Crowley Brings Out the I-Man's Inner Scaredy Cat

As the I-Man described KFC’s new sandwich called “The Double Down,” which uses fried chicken in place of bread to hold the components together, Monica Crowley had an epiphany.

“As much as I enjoy holding meat,” said the conservative Fox News contributor. “I think the sandwich is just a bridge too far for me.”

Sort of like President Obama’s policies, which she believes are radically progressive despite David Remnick’s assertions that Obama is center-right politically.

Asked for proof of her wild allegations, Crowley protested that Obama was the most liberal member of the U.S. Senate; he came out of community organizing in Chicago; he was an apostle of Saul Alinsky, the godfather of radical progressive politics in America; and as President, he immediately passed an $862 billion economic stimulus bill.

“You forgot to mention he was a member of the Communist Party,” Imus offered.

She continued, “He has insulted our allies, he has embraced our adversaries, Iran is moving toward a nuclear weapon at breakneck speed, and this President has done zero.”

Even more disturbing to Crowley and her ilk is Obama’s declaration that the U.S. will not use nuclear weapons in self-defense if attacked with biological or chemical weapons.

“He is telegraphing to our enemies what we will do and what we will not do,” said Crowley. “That’s Commander-in-Chief 101: you never, never do that. My three-year old nephew could tell you that.”

Not a big fan of hyperbole, Imus said, “I’ll bet your three-year old nephew couldn’t. If we called him now, he wouldn’t be able to tell us that. He can’t be any brighter than any other three-year old.”

Maybe not. But he’s probably brighter than one particular 69-year old.

Crowley then explained that some states are planning to challenge the health care bill because they believe it is unconstitutional to force Americans to buy health insurance.

Beginning in 2014 the federal government “will be able to garnish your tax refund if you don’t have health insurance,” Crowley said. “If you’re not going to get a refund, they’ll be able to garnish your wages.”

Convinced she was just trying to scare him, Imus admitted he doesn’t take Crowley’s word for anything. “I think you guys all come in here and lie to me,” he said, referring to both his liberal and conservative guests. “Alan Colmes: lying. You: lying.”

While Imus may not be brighter Crowley’s nephew, the two are definitely on the same maturity level.

-Julie Kanfer