When Bo is Well-Rested, He is Capable of Making Sense

Bo Dietl got a lot of sleep last night thanks to his sleep apnea machine, and displayed a level of energy that nobody else could mach this morning, least of all Imus.

“Get down there and do some pushups,” Bo advised the I-Man, who was not feeling well. In case anyone was wondering, Bo does 60 pushups every morning, and feels so strong he could lift a car, though it remains unclear why he’d want to do that in the first place.

Maybe Bo was feeling particularly energized after his dinner last night with Charlie Rose, “one of the most proliferical interviewers of all time,” he claimed, though Bernard hit the nail on the head when he called Rose “a two-legged Ambien pill.”

Imus admitted Rose is a nice guy, but added, “That bus left the station a long time ago.”

The purpose of Bo’s dinner with Rose, apparently, had been to discuss the crazy amount of money spent on pensions for federal employees. “With their retirement, they get paid over 80 percent of the normal retirees in the public industries,” said Bo, actually making some sense. “If we cut back 15 percent, we could save over $30 billion a year, just in federal employees.”

As for city and state employees, Bo said their mentality is “lazy, lazy, lazy,” and their goal is simply to retire.

Suddenly, Imus had a pain in his hand, at which point he reminded everybody that he doesn’t feel well, and that he has cancer. Bo, who thought Imus had said “yak semen” and not “flax seed” when describing the contents of his daily shake, promised he’d take care of Deirdre when Imus is no longer around.

“I’ll be there, brother,” Bo said. “I’ll be the godfather.”

Feeling reassured, Imus wondered what Bo, who grew up in Howard Beach with John Gotti, Jr., thought about Gotti’s “60 Minutes” interview on Sunday.

“I think it was ill-advised,” said Bo, proving he can pronounce words correctly when he wants to. “What he should do is get his family, move to North Carolina, and get out of here. He’s going to be a target again, and we know what happens then!”

Bo believes Gotti’s claim that he’s no longer in the mob. “I don’t think the mob wants to be in with him,” Bo said.

To Imus, Gotti seemed like a nice guy, but Bo was more concerned with how awful Gotti’s father, the “Dapper Don” John Gotti, looked toward the end of his life in prison. “He was one of the most handsome guys you ever wanted to meet,” said Bo, who, as with most topics, could go on about this for hours.

-Julie Kanfer