Imus Makes Megyn Kelly an Offer She Can't Refuse (But Should)

Imus believes that Megyn Kelly, the host of Fox News’s America Live program, is living the dream: she’s got a new baby, a reasonably new husband, and a hit show.

“There’s got to be something wrong in your life,” Imus said. “We want to know what it is.”

Kelly admitted there had been many things wrong with her life—an unsuccessful first marriage, an unfulfilling job as an attorney—but she changed all of that, and she did it without turning to drugs and alcohol.

“I managed to avoid that stuff,” she told Imus. “Unlike some people at this table.”

Ten years later, Kelly gets to interview scintillating figures like Rep. Bart Stupak, who last week abandoned his strong anti-abortion position and voted for President Obama’s health care bill, settling for a meaningless executive order that would prohibit the use of federal funds for abortions.

“He kept saying, ‘What choice did I have? It was the only choice I had!’” said Kelly. “And I pointed out to him, ‘No, there was secret option B, which is vote against the bill like you’ve been saying all along.’”

Little about Washington shocks Kelly these days. Well, except for learning the other day that the Republican and Democratic National Committees woo prospective donors by taking them to “nudie clubs” around the country.

As he tried to ask Kelly her legal expertise on state Attorneys General around the country threatening to sue over the health care bill, Imus was distracted by the strange use of “Attorneys General” instead of “Attorney Generals.”

“It’s just people trying to sound fancy,” Kelly speculated. “It’s like people who went to Harvard saying, ‘I studied in Cambridge.’ Do we have to go through the two-step question? Harvard’s fine. I get it.”

She doubts that the states suing have a legal leg to stand on, since the Supreme Court almost never strikes down laws passed by Congress under the commerce clause, as the health care bill was. “I’m not going to say it has no chance, but it doesn’t have a great chance,” she added.

Kelly is saddened that, as Imus put it, the “wheels are coming off the Pope-mobile.” But she’s also frustrated, trying to find a church in which to baptize her now six-month old son. Kelly, a Catholic, has run into some problems because her first marriage was never annulled in the church, and her current husband is a Presbyterian.

“Man, have I got good news for you!” Imus gushed. “I’m a licensed ordained minister!”

Is this what happens to an innocent child, Kelly wondered frantically, when a Catholic marries a Presbyterian and doesn’t have an annulment in their first marriage?

No. It’s what happens when you agree to appear on Imus in the Morning.

-Julie Kanfer