Charles Gasparino's Book Could Be an Autobiography

It was a little too early for Charles Gasparino to be awake at 6:30AM, since, you know, he just came in from Elaine’s about an hour ago.

“Ten million people are out of work,” Imus said. “And you’re bitching about having to get up and come on television?”

So Gasparino manned up and started in on Senator Chris Dodd, who proposed a financial regulation bill this week that Gasparino believes is pointless. “It really still keeps in place ‘too big to fail,’ and that’s essentially what caused all this,” he said, referring to the country’s economic turmoil over the last 18 months.

The reason so many “greedy” bankers took too much risk, according to Gasparino, is because “they always felt they had a partner in the government.” For more information on this and other compelling financial matters, Gasparino recommends his book, The Sellout, which does not feature sex, drugs, and rock and roll like Vicky Ward’s book about Lehman Brothers, The Devil's Casino.

Gasparino’s protested that his book is about “the role of government and what’s happened at the Fed and the SEC.” He apologized with a roll of the eye for missing the part about Dick Fuld on the couch with his wife.

“You missed the part we care about,” Imus explained.

The SEC missed a lot too, like Bernard Madoff’s Ponzi scheme, despite having questioned Madoff eight times. “In a sense the regulators kind of found him, but they couldn’t seal the deal,” said Gasparino, who is dubious about regulations in general. “The only way you keep these guys in check is the notion that if you mess up, you’re done.”

When the government intervenes in the financial system, the rules become less clear. “You let Lehman fail, you bail out Goldman Sachs—it’s the most bizarre, weird way to regulate the financial system ever,” Gasparino said.

He’s similarly hard on the health care bill, calling it a sham that the Congressional Budget Office boasted the bill would save $138 billion dollars over ten years. “The economy is tens of trillions of dollars,” he said. “That is like a drop in the bucket.”

Obama might not be a socialist, but in Gasparino’s view, “He’s certainly leftist.” A Liberal would have settled for some reform without needing to “go all the way.” A Leftist, however, has no problem radically changing 16 percent of the economy with a very slim majority in Congress. Thus, Gasparino concluded, “You’re dealing with someone who is an ideologue.”

Because his guest, formerly with CNBC, begged for another book plug, Imus gave him one.

“It’s called The Sellout,” Imus said. “Which, of course, is appropriate for Gasparino.”

-Julie Kanfer