Thanks For All the Information, Bo

One indication that it’s going to be a long morning is when Bo Dietl makes up a word within a minute of arriving on set. Responding to news that a raging snowstorm left more than a foot of snow at the Imus Ranch, Bo said happily, “It’s nature at its ultimum!”

With Imus was approximately 2,000 miles away today, Bo had free reign over his microphone and took full advantage of the situation, commenting first on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s less than stellar oratory skills late last night as she congratulated herself for passing health care reform.  

“She makes me look like I’m John F. Kennedy the way she speaks,” said Bo, not normally known for his loquaciousness. “She was stumble bumbling over everything she said.”

Bo was so disturbed that he changed the channel away from the dramatic health care reform news over to HBO to watch the scintillating miniseries “The Pacific,” which he predicted will win every Emmy award this year.  

“You’ve got to thank these World War II vets who are still alive and have made this country the democracy that we have,” Bo said. “And then Pelosi tries to take it away.”

Suddenly a self-described Libertarian, Bo thinks all Americans should fall in line with his way of thinking. He also warned Imus, “We gotta worry about the Chinese.”

According to some information Bo has come across, China is bringing hundreds of millions of people from its villages into cities in an effort to “wipe out all other industrialized countries.” Also, China’s preference for boy babies over girls means that by the year 2050 there will be 70 million unmarried Chinese men ready to invade Russia for its natural resources. Disclaimer: this is all according to Bo.

“This is where the war is going to come from,” said Bo. It’s unclear, and probably unimportant, what war he was talking about; but after more than 20 years of appearing on this show, why should Bo start to make sense now?

“How does this happen that you get to come in and do this?” Imus wondered. “Is it because we’re friends?  I don’t let all my friends come on every week and act insane.”

As if to prove his point, Bo ranted further about “the birth of Christ,” “Christianism,” and the Muslim’s failed attempt in the 7th century to “take out everybody.” He cautioned, “My children and your children have to worry about what’s coming up!”

We’ll make sure to get them that message, Bo.

-Julie Kanfer